Coming Soon!

Ryan's Mighty Christmas, Ryan's stuck home alone and all depressed for Christmas. What will Santa do to spread holly jolly holiday cheer to our favorite fighter pilot? Give him a MIGHTY present! A holiday collaboration with the voluptuous Mighty Melinda will be arriving just in time for your Christmas reading pleasure...provided my head lets me write.

Some Things to be Thankful for

Little late with this blog, but as they saying goes, "Better late than never."

STRETCH!

I was planning on posting an all important PSA this morning, but my brain decided to take yesterday afternoon off. It'll have to wait until most likely after Thanksgiving. So, this morning I asked Lara Croft if she'd stop by and show us the importance of a good stretch in the morning. You never know when or where you might need it.

Model: Tanya Croft deviant art
Ukraine Cosplayer

Meanwhile...back in Miami

Amy rocks!

RIP: Twinkies

A moment of silence please, today is a sad day in America. Hostess shut its doors. No more Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and other tasty junk food. Its a shame too, I survived on those during my cadet and ensign days. I had a Twinkie for breakfast the day I shot down a MiG-29 over the Adriatic Sea back in 1999. Twas my first kill. I'm going to drown my sorrows in a ice cold 20oz bottle of Coca-Cola. (For those of you living in NYC, that is illegal thanks to your mayor.)

Denise Milani

Heroine or villaness, I've always wondered.

Meanwhile in Tampa

Rebecca and the rest of the Buc squad supports the troops!

What Troopers!

Amy, Sam, and the rest of Task Force Miami put on a show while the Dolphins laid the biggest egg at home since your humble correspondent was in diapers. (For those of you reading in Port. St. Lucie, yes, I just dated myself) I had to turn the TV off after the Titans too easily converted a 4 and 2 minutes in the 1st quarter. I could feel the Migraine Projector working its fiendish pain behind my left eye, saving me from watching that inexcusable, unacceptable, disastrous, anemic, impotent, uninspired, feeble, bumbling attempt yesterday...just ask the fans.

Veterans Day 2012

(I've been sitting on this pic for a while) I can't begin to tell you how lucky this Marine is to have Amy and Lily put his new stripes on. Wow! What an honor! Anyhoo, happy Veterans Day!

Happy Birthday USMC!

Nipples are EEEEVIL!

I posted this pic a few days ago on another website and it was taken down. I don't know why but it apparently violated their rules. Only thing I can think of is that you can see the outline of her nipples. It confirms one of my previous blogger posts...women's nipples are one of the most evil things in the world.

Art by the late great Dave Hoover.

Halloween-Fail

HELLO NURSE!

Tampa Bay sophomore wonder Rebecca is an emergency room RN. That's right! How perfect is that for being a superheroine?!!? I do know that you've been dying to see her, but a trip to the ER won't be on my itinerary.

Pic from Jackson 1245 Flickr account

Darn it! I'm a CPO, not a Plumber!

The following story is based on a real life incident.

***

The second full week of being the certified pool operator for the indoor pool at Gotham NAS was going along swimmingly. Everything was fine save a couple of mild TN attacks induced by being around chlorine for too long, other than that, I was peachy. Peachy indeed and the weekend was just a few agonizing hours away.

I was performing my daily walk through when I saw a leak in the dumpster room. I quickly deduced that an AC drainage line had backed up. I sighed, I had the feeling of impending Gotham gloom that my Friday had transformed into a Murphy Friday. My feeling was confirmed after a phone call…all available navy plumbers were busy making repairs over at the admiral’s office.

“Shiskebob,” I muttered as I put the phone down; I could hear a crotchety Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy grumbling, “Damn it Jim! I’m a doctor, not a plumber!” Mercifully all the tools I needed were there for the minor surgery on the PVC pipe. Minor, they always say minor until they start cutting. Anyhoo, I grabbed a hacksaw, climbed up an eight foot ladder, and cut the PVC pipe. It started to drip ice cold water, another feeling was confirmed, but it didn’t make me any happier. One more cut and I carefully removed the piece of PVC, algae infested water slowly trickled out.

My helper put a five gallon bucket down to collect the grody water. I grimaced, yuck. Double yuck, that was nasty stuff dribbling out of that cut plastic pipe. I moved the ladder a few inches more away from the dripping opening, I was not about to have any of that foul water come pouring out atop of me as I finished this simple operation.

My ever helpful helper handed me a hose. I took it and carefully shoved it up the pipe. It stopped seven feet away at the elbow, I gave it a hard push and it went a little further in. I wrapped a rag around the end of the pipe and hose. I was not about to take a free ice cold grody bath. “Ready!” I exclaimed and my helper turned on the water.

I kept my hand firmly in place as I felt the pressure build. I continued to let it build and released my hand. I was about to give the hose a firm yank to release it and let it fall out on its own as that nasty grody algae infested water rained down upon the dumpster room floor. There was one minuscule problem.

There was a kaboom, not an Earth shattering kaboom, but an algae shattering kaboom. I don’t know what happened, but I was covered in that disgusting filthy grody algae. It was in my hair, plastered to my face and arms. Thank the Good Lord was I wearing one of my old navy PT shirts; it was covered in green algae that looks very similar to green phlegm you hack up when you’re sick.

I very calmly climbed down the ladder and walked out with as much dignity as I could muster. I grabbed a couple of pool towels and walked out to my blue Chrysler Crossfire. I kept my cool, I didn’t drop any F-Bombs or other colorful metaphors, mom would’ve been proud. I covered my car’s seat with the two towels and drove home.

I hastily disrobed inside the safety of my humble abode. I placed my soiled clothes in a separate hamper. I would rinse them with a hose before I even dared putting those infected clothes in the washing machine. I made a mad dash to the bathroom for my poor arms were starting to itch; I took a nice hot refreshing disinfecting shower.

10-15 minutes later I was drying off when I heard a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes, it was probably Admiral Doolittle wondering how come I wasn’t taking care of his beloved indoor heated pool or why I quit my post without being properly ‘relieved’. The impatient knocking grew more annoyingly louder. “Coming!” I barked as I felt the loud banging reverberating in my left ear.

I gnarled and threw open the door and saw a stunned Pepper Potts was standing in front of me...I was still dripping wet with a towel wrapped around my loins. The feisty fiery redhead blushed for a moment and bit her bottom lip. “Pepper! What are you doing here?”

Pepper chewed on her bottom lip, “I’m ah-” she chewed and chewed some more on her bottom lip. “I stopped by to see if you have any plans tonight…lieutenant.” She looked me right in the eye as she continued to chew on her cherry red bottom lip.

“I do now!” I retorted and grabbed her by the arm. She playfully squealed as I pulled her in and closed the door. It’s good to be the CPO!