Confessions, Concussions, and Concessions

Last Thursday Ultra Woman, Star Spangled Girl, Mighty Melinda, and I were having a dress rehearsal for the Ultra Moon story. Everything was going fine until we had a freak accident, a roll down door decided it was going to come down by itself. My chivalric ever the officer and gentleman side kicked in. I shoved Mighty Melinda out of the way only to have the door kiss me twice on the left side of my forehead. Wouldn’t you know it would be the left side of my head, the side that’s been giving me grief since April 2007. The concerned buxom blonde trio immediately checked up on me. Mighty Melinda playfully reminded me that the door would’ve harmlessly bounced off of her, but she appreciated being ‘saved’.

My head was on fire, but I appeared to be fine. I was fine alright, you’d be too if three blonde scantily clad goddess were bent over you. I suffered a couple of minor scrapes, I was okay…that is until Saturday evening. I was at a Thanksgiving dinner when I started to feel some pressure just above my left eyebrow. Mild waves of nausea struck as I felt my strength go out with the nauseating tides. I went home and lied down, extreme dizziness struck. Thank God it left as soon as it hit.

I skipped chapel Sunday to rest. Wonder Woman heard about it and paid me a visit. She threatened to take me to the Navy hospital. So, I watched the Dolphin game lying down on my sofa. I took a nap at halftime and missed most of the second half.

I stumbled back into my living room after I heard Wonder Woman say, “Oh, they actually scored another touchdown.” I saw Reggie Bush triumphantly toss the pigskin into the stands. I weakly smiled; the Fins were on their way to another win.

I will be taking a few more days off to rest; my brain ever so often goes into a fog. I will pour over my Ultra Moon notes that I have written since the May of 2010. I may have to tweak the ‘Teaser’ I posted.

I leave you with yet another gratuitous pic of Amy that I found on NFL.com. I do thank them for posting it. It doesn’t have that nauseating watermark on it. =)

Coming Soon: The Ultra Moon

The teaser...

The young shapely patriotic superheroine known as The Star Spangled Girl urgently sped towards the Rocky Mountains of New Mexico. She was intercepting a little known villain that had stolen a classified missile guidance system from White Sands. Star easily caught up with the bikini clad villain and engaged her in the sky.

The battle was swift and decisive, Star stood over the quivering second rate goon. Her long tone legs stood shoulder length apart; the smug heroine placed her hands on her hips. Her dazzling blue eyes narrowed as the woman begged pitifully for mercy. Star radioed in that she had apprehended the suspect. Her communication piece suddenly went quiet. No one heard from her since nor was there the usual ransom letter. The Star Spangled Girl was officially listed as Missing in Action.

Two weeks later a young, green, over eager to prove her worth heroine fielded a distress call from SSG. Hearing the ‘urgency’ of Star’s plea she rushed off to the coordinates that Star’s communicator was transmitting. She arrived just to find Star’s white boots, neck choker, blue star spangled bikini top, and communicator. The heroine was ambushed by the Star’s capture. As with Star- no word, no contact, and no ransom letter until two more weeks had passed.

Mighty Melinda’s communicator received an urgent SOS message from the missing heroines. She knew it was a trap, but the League was stretched thin as it was. She radioed Ultra Woman and Lieutenant Ryan Wolf, USN; both of them were busy. Ultra Woman was engaging Dynamo and the dashing pilot was returning from a scrubbed black ops mission.

Melinda suffers a humiliating loss to the villain now known as the Villainess. Tania and Ryan team up to battle her treachery. Can they stop her before she destroys the rest of the League?

(Image from Ultra Woman's deviant art page)

Dolphins Win Again!

Miami finally snaps their nauseating home losing streak. Now if I can just find pics without those nauseating watermarks.

Task Force Miami Update

Task Force Miami has a new official squad to patrol Biscayne Boulevard, the Triple A and Bayside for the 2011-2012 NBA season. However, unlike the Dolphins, the Heat didn't snap a group shot of the girls that made the team. I can't identify, or maybe the Heat did it on purpose to protect their secret identities from the sneaky paparazzi. I do believe Stephanie and Ashley Z (girl in the photo) are back. I did not see Odaymis, which is unfortunate. I knew her long before she embarked on a superheroine career.

Veterans Day 2011 11/11/11

I've been thinking what to post here for about a week. Should I do something similar to the three perfect tens I posted on 10/10/10? I decided not to do anything silly or sexy, just go with something classy.

It's Veterans Day, the holiday where only veterans work. So, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to work.

Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire's Tip 313

You love football. She likes football. You're in luck! Not too many sidekick's have heroines that like football. Count your many blessings my friend, not just because she can't see her toes. Be careful, however, she knows you better than you know the back of your hand. She knows all the signs. Listen to her, she's there to help you avoid a nasty let down, suffer a Adrenalin induced headache, or do something stupid during a celebration.

Case in point, I was watching my beloved Dolphins Sunday. I subscribe to the NFL ticket, yeah, I know the Dolphins are down this year, but they're still my team. The Fins may stink, but they still have the sexiest cheerleaders in the league! Anyhoo, I pumped my fist into the air when Fasano caught his first TD of the game as a stunned Task Force Kansas City watched from a few yards away. (See pic)

"YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" I thundered as Fasano stretched across the goal line scoring his second TD of the game.

"Ryan," my goddess calmly said (I won't reveal her ID, I don't want to endanger her.) "It's 14-3, they were up by the same score last week and blew it."

She was right, but I was still pumped. The D kept the pressure on and the score held up. The Dolphins scored again, it was 21-3. I started to sing the Miami Dolphin fight song. Yes, it's corny, but I love it! It beats that stupid, "That's another Miami Dolphin first down!" It's sad when things get so bad you have to celebrate First Downs.

Reggie Bush scampered untouched and the Dolphins were now in uncharted waters for 2011, 28-3. I started screaming, yelling, whooping, hollering. My buxom goddess did her part to try and calm me down. "Ryan, you're blood pressure. You're going to get a headache."

"Nonsense!"

Moments after Miami won 31-3 I placed my hand on my temples. I was burning up. A big headache was coming on me. I took to Excedrin Migraine pills and lie down. She gently kissed my temples and picked up my feet. She sat down and placed them on her lap. She picked up the remote and changed it to the Giants vs Belicheats.

It's good to be the sidekick!

My O My, MIAMI!

I'm still pumped after Miami's thrashing of the Kansas City Chefs. So I visited SI.com to see what they had. My eyes exploded when I came upon the Extra Mustard section (Monday Morning AM Hot Clicks). Guess who I saw in all her Miami glory on the front page? That's right...AMY! Congrats!