Missile Talk

It was just your average typical lazy Saturday morning at the Avenger HQ kitchen as I was perusing through the latest missile tests data; Victor von Stark was away, I was quite safe. Nothing really jumped out at me as I continued to pour through the test data. I couldn’t find much of anything that would be effective against the new Decepticon threat that had reared its ugly metallic head. I took a bite of my donut and set it down on my plate as I flipped through some papers and innocently read aloud, “AGM-65 Maverick missile.”

Next thing I heard was a soft voice purring, “Mmmmmm, tactical weapons. Talk dirty to me!”

I quickly shot my head up and saw Misty Knight, dressed in a skin tight body suit, standing in front of me; she was practically drooling. I must have been too busy reading the missile reports to have heard her walk into the kitchen. The ebony beauty pulled out a chair across from me and sat down.

I didn’t know what to do or think; I held some paper in my hand as I blinked for a second or two. I glanced away as a thought entered my mind. Why not? I turned my head back and said with the hint of a naughty smile, “AGM-88 Harm missile.”

“Effective,” the ebony angel grinned as she eloquently folded her long legs. She replied, “In homing in on radar and electronic transmissions.” Misty finished and gave me a wink.

She winked at me? Oh boy, I wanted to see if I could keep the ball rolling and maybe change my recent run of bad luck into good. “AIM-54 Phoenix missile?”

“Long range air-to-air radar guided missile; the F-14 Tomcat was capable of firing six at one time while tracking up to twenty-four targets,” the sultry woman stated and then dropped a tactical nuke on me, “I love you.”

My brown eyes widen with pleasant shock; even with the bogus war crime trial on the horizon and Galvatron’s untimely return, hope still floated. I grew bold and leaned forward as I locked onto her eyes. “Does this mean you’ll go out on a date with me and watch an AIM-120 missile being test fired?”

Misty smirked and answered, “Sweet…Fox Three. You name the time and date handsome, I’ll be there.”

I stood up and pushed my chair aside as I asked as I walked around to her side, “How about right now? I’ll take you up in a F-18 Super Hornet and we’ll take out a Latverian satellite with a ASM-135 ASAT missile. That will surely perturb Doom.”

A smug Misty Knight stood up; she wrapped her soft arm around mine as she purred, “Oh lieutenant, I do love it when you talk dirty!”

I left the data behind and escorted the lovely Misty Knight out of HQ and a night on the town. It’s good to be the sidekick!