It was a splendid day, simply splendid as a frenemy of mine would say. I was finally released from that stupid blasted hospital. I promised Wonder Woman and Ms. Marvel that I would go straight home and get the bed rest that the naval flight surgeons prescribed. I went straight home after making a slight detour to the local comic book store.
I was busy getting my grubby paws on every single issue I could of Wonder Woman in her new skimpy Violet Lantern attire and of Power Girl. I still had a few weeks of bed rest to sentence to serve, these comic books might get me through some of the bitter cold Gotham winter nights that were predicted to arrive in 48 hours, along with the cold induce pain to my surgically repaired shoulder.
I set the stack full of smexy comics down upon the counter; I was reaching for my wallet when I hear the cracking voice of an adolescent kid, “The lady’s with me!” I turned around and saw a red headed boy, fourteen tops. He stood a few inches shy of five feet, his hair was mangled. He wore an emerald Green Lantern Corps t-shirt, complete with the Green Lantern’s ring proudly pasted on his scrawny chest. The boasting brat pointed behind him with his thumb and again annoyingly announced, “The lady’s with me!”
Standing behind the obnoxious brat was an annoyed Kryptonian goddess. Her all encompassing chest was nearly exploding out of oval cut in her snow white tight attire as she took a deep breath. Power Girl balled her angry blue gloved fists and planted them on her attractive thick curvy hips; she rolled her eyes as the smug kid boasted yet again, “The lady’s with me!”
The kid walked over to the current comic book display as PG gritted her teeth. I told the nearly drooling comic nerd behind the counter to give me a couple of seconds as the kid started up a conversation with a man next to him, “You see that lady over there? She’s with me!”
I could see the smoke billowing out of Karen’s ears; Power Girl shook her head and folded her arms underneath her massive Kryptonian moons. Now, most of you know that I’m a trained military pilot. I have the utmost top notch discipline. I kept my eyes glued on hers the whole time I walked over to the fuming blonde goddess except for that one quick glance at her heaving cleavage that burst forth from her ‘front window’.
“Young adolescent male fan problems?” I lowly quipped.
“I wish,” the goddess groaned, “He saved me from a Red Lantern.”
I wasn’t sure if I caught that or not, I leaned over and whispered in her ear, “He WHAT?”
Power Girl took another deep breath, once again sending her impressive cleavage bursting forth through her ‘front window’; naturally I took a deep breath of my own for a much different reason. “He tripped over a piece of debris and stumbled into the Lantern; the ring misfired, disabling its user,” PG gnarled as the kid again proudly proclaimed, “The lady’s with me!”
I quickly thought up a way to score some brownie points with Power Girl. It didn’t take me long as the egotistical fan boy turned to another fan boy and smugly pointed to PG, “The lady’s with me!”
“Want me to deal with the problem?” I asked out of the corner of my mouth as I looked at the smug rotund pain in the neck.
“I’ll buy you a plate of cookies,” the goddess quickly replied as the insufferable kid again declared, “The lady’s with me!”
I’m a donut man myself, but I wouldn’t dream of refusing a plate of delicious cookies from a Kryptonian buxom goddess like Karen. I gently tapped her strong shoulder with my good hand and walked over to the brat as he again boasted, “The lady’s with me!”
“Hey kid!” I snapped as I flashed my US Navy credentials, “Lieutenant Ryan Wolf, United States Naval Air Force, why aren’t you in school?”
The kid wasn’t so arrogant now, he stumbled and fumbled for words and replied, “I’m…I’m…I’m from Miami.”
Miami? He didn’t…say…Miami…did he? Oh no, not him; anybody but him! It was the snotty nose kid who took me out at the Chinese downhill. I would’ve won a year’s supply of those sinfully delicious silky smooth Krispy Kreme donuts as well as a congratulatory smooch from Wonder Woman. My angry eyes narrowed as his went supernova, we recognized each other.
“Lieutenant Wolf! I-I-I-I didn’t know you were in Gotham!” his crackling voice exclaimed as he took a few steps backwards.
I sensed fear, I was going to utterly enjoy extracting some revenge; I pounced like a rabid ravenous wolf on a hemorrhaging crippled elk. “Why are you harassing my girl, Manny?” my gritted pearly mandibles snarled.
My colossal lie sliced through his little Kool-Aid pumping heart; his trembling voice really started to crack, “Your-Your-Your girl?!?! I didn’t know…honest, Lieutenant Wolf! Honest!”
Meanwhile, Power Girl buried her giggling face into her blue gloved hand. The blushing heroine turned around and snorted a laugh that was drowned out by Manny’s constant pitiful blabbering. The amused heroine glanced around to see me pull out my cell phone and make a call.
He fell on his knees, he furiously begged and pleaded for me not to arrest him and haul him off to jail as I put the cell phone to my ear. I placed my index finger on my lips; he quickly zipped his continuous moving lips with his fingers, he folded his hands together, bowed his head and prayed very very hard.
“Jaime! I-” I stated before my voice suddenly came to a screeching halt. I momentarily pulled the phone away from my ear and gave it an incredulous look before putting it back. “What do you mean I still owe you dinner and a movie?” Karen’s powerful ears could hear Jaime laughing. She shook her smiling head and walked over to me as I continued. “I have a lost little boy from Miami; he needs a ride back to his hotel…”
***
“God speed, Manny!” I stated and snapped the kid a mock two finger salute as the SPs drove away. Boy I was so glad to see that royal boisterous pain in the tush leave, but not as glad Power Girl. The relieved heroine wrapped her strong, yet soft arm around my surgically repaired body.
“Thanks hun,” she purred in my ear.
“No, no, no thank you!” I quickly corrected the power goddess as I placed my good hand atop her soft inviting arm. I smiled as I gazed into her sparkling emerald pools.
She giggled and smiled with a hint of deviltry, “Ready for those cookies?”
I returned the devilish smile. Cookies, donuts; it didn’t matter, for The Lady’s with Me!
