Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire's Tip of the Day #303

Remember Halloween is the one night a year the space-time continuum clashes with the ghastly astral plane as well as other unspeakable ethereal wonders. You need to be on the top of your game. If not, your goddess maybe overpowered, stripped, and 'clunk'ed on the head. The earliest you'll be able to launch a rescue attempt will be October 2013...if then.

Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire's Tip of the Day #276

Don't forget to pack the first aid kit and keep it stocked with traditional and alternative items. It is October after all, Halloween is coming. Please keep in mind that strange this will happen. Your heroine will attract all kinds of ghastly unwanted attention.

That so called scratch she got can be deadly. The brazen weapon that had the audacity to injure her was magic, its poison is slowly swimming in her voluptuous body...neutralizing her power and making her defenseless for the final attack. You did pack the first aid kit?

Beautiful. Good boy, now stand back and watch her work!

Voila! She's back to 100%! Amazing. Time to assist her in defeating the evil that is afoot and she'll reward you handsomely afterwards.

Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinarie's Tip of the Day #274

It's October, Halloween is on the way. This is the time of the year where the mortal plane spins the closest to the magical plane, provided I remember my space-time continuum 101 right. This is the month you need to be on your toes, your goddess is going to need you. Things just seem to...happen. Keep your guard up, you never know when a crazed blood thirsty plant will spring to life, try to ensnare your voluptuous heroine and douse her with its arousing mind numbing toxic pollen.

Ryan's Superheroine Extraordinaire's Tip of the Day #186

It's the 4th of July and you're bummed that you have to go out on patrol, it's only natural. However, it is your duty to protect Western Civilization. You're bound to run across star spangled bikini clad goddess while on duty. It's okay to watch, but don't make it obvious. In the immortal words of Han Solo, "Fly casual." If not, you'll make the next issue of the Superheroine News like this poor Los Angeles Rookie did.

Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire's Tip of the Day

Sometimes HQ will assign to to a mere mortal superheroine, it has it's advantages and disadvantages.

The advantage is she won't suddenly lose control of her powers during a romantic moment and crush your fragile rib cage, cause the roof to collapse on you, destroy an expensive Sleep Number Bed, accidentally send you back in time, or suffer other embarrassing feats of strength.

The disadvantages are distinct, she is a mere mortal. She is totally capable of succumbing to the same Bronchitis on top of Sinusitis that you contracted while battling the Villainess henchbabe out on the frozen tundra of Wisconsin no matter how fit she is or how well she takes care of that prime body of hers.

Spray everything with Lysol and do it again! Take separate showers, give her the bed and sleep out on the couch, constantly wash those hands of yours. I don't want to be in your shoes when she narrows her angry eyes and points to her throat as her scratchy voice growls, "You did this to me!"

That would be a good time to stock up on chocolates and flowers as well as putting back a weeks worth of pay. You're gonna need all that to get back on her good side once you nurse her back to health.

Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire's Tip of the Day #4

It's game day! Let's pretend that your favorite team is the Miami Dolphins and they are playing their arch-rival, the New York Jets. Miami is out of the running, but they can still wreck the Jets season by knocking them out of the playoffs.

The game is a nail biter, going into the last few minutes of the game. Miami holds a slim 16-10 lead with the Jets deep in Miami territory. Will Miami hold or will they sadly crumble like your accustomed to? You nearly bite your finger off as the Jets continue to drive.

Suddenly the Jet QB plays like Brett Favre and throws a pass right into the hands of a Miami Dolphin linebacker. He catches it and returns it into Jet territory, basically ending the Jets season. It's perfectly understandable for you to shoot to your feet screaming at the top of your lungs, "Go! Go! Go!". It's normal to jump around and clap your hands as loud as you can. The Dolphins pulled it out and wrecked the Jets season.

However, don't forget your superheroine is in the adjoining room. Her goddess body was ravaged by the latest dastardly weapon of Lex Luthor: The Migraine Projector. Your clapping, screaming, yelling is only going to make her migraine worse, you wouldn't want that on your conscious, would you?

Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire's Tip 365

It's New Years Eve and your goddess want to release some pent up energy, all work and no play makes her a very dull girl. Your job to make sure she doesn't suffer any embarrassing wardrobe malfunctions, the paparazzi will be waiting like blood lusting sharks. Lastly, if the two of you should take in a firework show, say, um, I dunno, Port Everglades and decide to make fireworks of your own; just make sure you turn off your dashboard camera. *Ahem*

(Keith Garvey Art)

Ryan's Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire's Tip 308

Eclairs. Yes, I said eclairs. It's best to stock up on them or know of a tasty bakery that can give you a dozen of these scrumptious pastries on a moment's notice. These sinful treats can melt the most harden perturbed heroines ice cold steel heart.

Hypothetically let's say you promised Hellcat dinner and a movie, but teeny weeny stuff seems to interfere with the date. I mean trivial stuff like leading a US Naval Airstrike against Libya, assisting Lieutenant Colonel Lennox on a classified NEST operation in Chicago, and quelching an Occupy Gotham riot. Defending Western Civilization can be a bear.

Present those rich and creamy pastries to her and you're out of the doghouse. Make sure you take her immediately on that dinner/movie date. She'll curl up in a ball and nuzzle next to you all night. The worse thing that could happen is you waking up with the words, "Hellcat wuz here," written in permanent black marker all over your chest.

Trust me