10 Years of Ryan Wolf

Official collage of a decade of Ryan Wolf. My next feat will be to tell who's who...someday.

10 Years of Ryan Wolf

10 Years of Ryan Wolf

Attack of the Mole Men Part II

Can't believe I didn't post the rest of the story...written 2007

Part 1 http://thewolfswoof.blogspot.com/2010/10/attack-of-mole-men-part-1.html

***

"Oh, Ryan-kun," Blue purred popping the flashback bubble from my mind, " I have something for you," she continued as she crooked her finger.

I looked around to see if I was being watched and high tailed it behind the counter. Blue smirked at my swiftness and led me behind a wall; she kept silent and gently grabbed my left arm. She sprayed it it and then told me to smell it.

I put my arm to my nose and did as she asked, "Mmm, very stimulating," I longingly replied as I put my arm down as I continued, "What is it?"

"Wolf's Passion, I made it myself," my sexy ninja friend proudly smiled and sprayed both sides of my neck.

Wolf's Passion, eh? Well, I didn't bother to ask what was in it, because I really really really didn't want to know. Honestly, knowing her the way I do, the main ingredient could've been fermented wolf urine for all I knew. Really, no joke, so I didn't ask. Instead I went on the offensive and used my knowledge of Kunoichi against Blue: I kissed her neck as I wrapped my arms around her.

Blue took a deep breath and hissed, "Ryan-kun," as her hands ran down the back of my Navy jersey. Her deadly ninja body squirmed as I continued my oral attack on her weak link. "Ryan-kun," she moaned, "You're not fighting fair..."

I never fight fair, especially when it came to Blue; we've been through hell and back on hairy hazardous missions. I never let an opportunity go by when I saw one. Blue called on all her Kunoichi will power and put hands on my shoulders; she gritted her teeth and pushed me off. She took a deep breath and gasped, "Later!" Blue put her head down and panted.

"Blue?" I asked as I put my head down.

"I'm fine, Ryan-kun," my winded friend replied laughing as she finished. She grabbed my cheeks, closed her violet eyes and gave me a big slow kiss, "Mmmm!" Blue purred as she pulled away, she opened her eyes and gave me a naughty wink. She walked away and asked as she stood at the counter, "Do you want anything to drink?"

"Yes," I replied and walked around to the front of the counter, "An ice cold Cherry Coke."

"Ryan-kun," my smiling friend mildly chided me, "You know you're not supposed to be drinking caffeine drinks."

"Don't tell Tara," I winked as I set the donut boxes apart.

Next thing I knew was, "Don't tell me what?!?!?!"

I turned around and there she was, Mrs. Killjoy herself: Tara Wolf, my drop dead gorgeous sister-in-law. The Dark Wolf added to my horror as she was dressed like a cheerleader, a Tampa Bay one. She sported a revealing crimson top with black collars and skimpy jagged edged crimson mini skirt with a black stripe running across the top, damn my brother.

"Why?" I asked tucking at my Navy jersey.

"Just sending a little message to you and your brother regarding the team you love to cheer for," she frankly replied.

"But last year you wore a Dolphin cheerleader outfit." I countered as I somewhat threw my hands up.

"Last year, they didn't suck," she answered and raised an eyebrow.

Ouch. She knows how to word things very tactfully. I very quickly changed the subject, "Where's Red?"

Tara snorted and replied as she sat down, "Your brother is bringing in the Jack O' Lanterns donuts you so conveniently forgot at the donut shop."

I was about to reply when I caught my brother out of the corner of my eye as he sat down next to me at the counter; Blue didn't see him, she had her pretty little blue head down as she fumbled for my drink in the hand numbing ice. I did a double take, he was dressed like Captain Morgan, "Uh..."

I really tried to warn him, I did, honestly, but my tongue malfunctioned. Blue looked up smiling as she handed me my Coke, suddenly her smile imploded as she saw Captain Morgan Red sitting in front of her. Blue was paralyzed, her right eye twitched as two factions in her brain waged war against the other.

Her eyes locked onto her eternal, most hated enemy as one side of her head told her "Must not fight in Dana's pub!" All the while, her hand unconsciously squeezed Ryan's glass so hard that it shattered, spraying coke, ice and glass everywhere.

PIIRAAATTEEEEE!!!!! AAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Screaming her battle cry, Blue lunges for Red, tackling him in the gut and knocking him off his bar stool. Part of her brain was still functioning as she grabbed the lapels of his captain's coat, rolled onto her back and with a flick of her incredibly muscular abs and things, flung him out the window. Red flew through the window with a sickening crash. Before he hit the floor, Blue dived out after him, her hands going for his throat as she did the Homer Simpson choke hold on him, squeezing and knocking his head against the ground.

"Why...you.....little.....dirty...." she continued to hit his head against the ground, not even noticing how several people had run out after them to try and get her off of Red "...dirty....little" SLAM! Her legs were in a tight lock around Red's torso as the legendary James Bond ran around the tavern to try and find a crow bar to pry her off of him "...fishbait of a...." Spittle was coming out of Blue's mouth at this point...."PPPPIRATE!!!!!"

My brother was too dazed to use his super soldier skills against Blue as she continued her insane rabid rage.

"I tried to tell him," an indifferent Tara sighed as I just looked at the window, dumbfounded as I slowly rose from my stool. He was my brother, stupid yes, but he was still my brother; I tried to rush out of the Tavern, but the sea of humanity prevented me from doing so.

While Red and Blue had their little dance, Killer Croc stood up to the karaoke microphone and started a profane shout. He was using every word in the book over and over and over again. Tara closed her blue eyes and shook her head as she grimaced; she snapped her fingers. Croc's mic turned itself off, he didn't know; thanks to confusion of Blue and Red's little dance of turmoil. "And they wonder why I never come in here on Karaoke night," she mumbled as she continued to shake her head.

A shepherd's hook snagged my neck and pulled me away as the chaos continued. I turned my head in the direction I was being pulled and saw a smugly smiling Red, the Naughty French Maid. She was dressed as Little Bo Peep, she pulled me into her voluptuous body and purred, "I lost my sheep luv, can you help me find them?"

"But of course!" I replied full of cheer not showing the dread on the inside.

Around this instant she smelled the cologne that Blue gave me, she took a couple of deep nostril breaths as she closed her eyes. Red opened them and longingly asked, "Mmm, luv, what are you wearing? It's very stimulating!"

"Wolf Passion," I answered as she pulled me in for a kiss.

"Mmm," she purred against my lips, "I also lost my pumpkins, think you can help me find them after the party." She finished and gave me a flirty wink; before I could reply she suddenly turned me around and smacked my butt, "Later luv!"

Meanwhile Chp was at the counter minding his own business, trying his best to stay out of harms way. "I didn't realize just how limited Croc's vocabulary is," he commented as Croc left the stage. He looked down at the donut box and frowned, Chp looked up and asked Tara, "Don't you have one of those peanut flavored ones?"

"Certainly!" she replied, her sparkling blue eyes were beaming, to her favorite Green Lantern as she pushed one box away and pulled out another. The Jedi opened the box and handed it to Chp, his eyes lit up, "Oh! Thanks!"

Red nearly smacked me into Talia ah Ghul. I stopped dead in my tracks as I gazed upon her Halloween costume or I should say her lack of costume. She wore a white skimpy nurse outfit. She had a cigarette in her hand, she took a long drag on it and exhaled as she addressed me in her own personal way, "Ryan, darling. How are you? You did a marvelous job officiating the Lingerie Bowl." She stopped as she smelled my cologne, "What are you wearing?" she replied as she licked her luscious lips.

"Wolf's Passion, Blue gave it to me," I replied.

"Quite stimulating," she purred and kissed both of my cheeks, "Mmm, maybe after the party I'll take you out on that date that I owe you...," she suddenly stopped and saw Wonder Woman.

Talia pulled out an uzi, where she pulled it out from, I have no idea. She put the cold steel barrel in my astonished face and demanded, "Why did you bring her here!"

Now, I know what kind of woman Talia is, I very cautiously AND politely asked, "Who?"

"Wonder Woman," her gritted teeth sneered.

"Oh!" I replied as my face eased up, "That's my friend Diana."

"Don't insult my intelligence, Ryan darling..." Talia started to threaten before Wonder Woman put her gaudy glasses on. Suddenly Talia's demeanor changed, she was agast, "That's not Wonder Woman! A superheroine as vain as her wouldn't wear them, even I wouldn't be caught dead wearing those hideous things!"

"Those are some ugly glasses," I agreed. I looked over my shoulder at Diana as her words came back to mind, "No self respecting superheroine of Wonder Woman's stature would be caught dead wearing these things."

I looked back at Talia, the assault weapon was gone, where she put it, well, I have no clue. She was smiling and very apologetic, "I'm sorry Ryan darling, I'll see you after the party." She finished and brushed my cheek with her soft hand as she gave me a flirty wink.

Finally, mercifully, I was able to make it outside, with Dana, now dressed as Rainbow Bright, in tow. Red's Captain Morgan outfit was torn to shreds, Commander Bond had managed to pry Blue off of him. She stood against the Tavern with one of her little horns facing down, breathing hard through her gritted teeth as James said, "It's okay, mate," as he help my bewildered brother up. Red looked like he'd been throw a buzz saw as he struggled to his feet; the rabid ninja shredded his clothes, hat, boots, belt, even his fake mustache wasn't saved from the wrath of Hurricane Blue.

Dana handed me the infamous brown paper bag as she helped Commander Bond take my brother into the tavern. Blue still looked like she was in a catatonic state as the raging vortex of hate still raged in her rabid mind. She still had some sense remaining to take the bag and place it over her mouth; Blue took deep breaths as the bag inflated in deflated with every breath she took.

***

Blue took deep breaths as she kept the bag over her haggard, yet, beautiful face.

"Feeling better?" I asked as I watched her with care.

My ninja lover shook her head as kept the bag over her face, she continued to take deep calming breaths. Blue removed the bag and gave me a gentle kiss on the lips, "Thank you Ryan-kun," she lowly smiled as she stood up. She started taking off her tattered devil costume, as she did so something told me she was still on the edge; she continued taking off her costume. I watched as her delightful exposed breasts jiggled as she walked into her private room.

Moments later she came out dressed like I don't know what, whatever it was it was beyond skimpy. A black band was wrapped around the top of her head and covered her violet eyes, it sported a fluorescent green pyramid right over her eyes. Her breasts had two grey buttons that barely covered her well endowed breasts. Her right breast button had a bright glowing red "O" as her left breast had a shiny blue "X". Blue's panties were solid black with cable plug ins dangling to the floor, boy would I love to plug into her. She had a pinkish square on the outside of her left thigh; Blue wore jet black gloves that ran all the way up the top of her arms, fittingly a blue band ran across the top of the gloves.

She spread her legs shoulder width apart and placed her soft black gloved hands on her curvy hips, "Well, Ryan-kun, what do you think?"

"I love it, Blue-chan!" I stopped and changed my tone to a quizzitive one, "But what are you?"

"I'm a Play Station, Ryan-kun," she purred.

"Play Station, eh? Well, I loved to play with you," I replied as Blue giggled at my answer.

"All in due time my Ryan-kun," she smiled widely as we wrapped around each other and began to kiss; as we slowly kissed I decided it was time to see if Blue was really ready to go back outside. If she were, she would easily thwart what I was about to do; I was going to play with my fleshy Play Station.

My hand gently squeezed her ass as my mouth broke from her intoxicating lips and kissed her neck.

"Ryan-kun," she breathlessly moaned as she put her head back giving me a much better attack angle of her neck. I released her ass and gently pulled back on her blue hair as she took erratic breaths. She gasped my name again as I slowly ravished her neck with kisses; her knees weaken as I continued to kiss her neck, she slowly sunk to the floor as I used her Kunoichi knowledge against her.

***

Meanwhile Dana, walked back to the bar, Tara was busy serving drinks as she talked to Chp, Croc, and Logan, who were sitting in front of her. The Raven Wolf held up a drink as she wiped off the counter; as she bent over in front of her favorite Green Lantern she revealed a fair amount of cleavage.

Chp responded, "Tara, you do realize that human nudity does nothing for me, besides, you're married."

The Raven Wolf picked her head up, "Huh?" she replied and then looked down, "Oh!" She put the drink down and pulled up her top a little, "I wore this for Red," she smiled as she tilted her head, her cheeks showed a hint of redness.

Chp, bless his little peanut pumping heart was again confused, "Red...the Naughty French Maid...I don't understand?" he replied scratching his little adorable head.

"Ryan's brother, Red, my husband...Captain Morgan.......The one who just had the little misunderstanding with Blue," Tara finished as her voice lowered.

"Oh!" Chp replied as he understood and hiccuped. Suddenly, he didn't look so good. He turned somewhat green; Croc and then Logan hiccuped too. Logan turned green while Croc turned a tad tannish.

Dana was quite concerned, the Rainbow Bright proprietor stood next to Tara and placed her soft hand on Chp's little furry head, "Chp, you don't look so good, are you alright?"

"I feel...," Chp was answering before he hiccuped again and disappeared in a poof of gray smoke. The smoke started to settle, Croc hiccuped as well as Logan, they too, disappeared in a puff of gray smoke.

The smoke cleared, Dana and Tara couldn't believe their eyes; sitting in front of them were an arrogant chipmunk, elegant ladies purse, and a skunk. "Chp! Croc! Logan!" a bewildered Dana closed her eyes and opened them as she thundered, weird things happened all the time in the tavern, but nothing like this!

Chp was now a chipmunk of the worst subspecies. He slowly looked down at his red sweater, emblazoned with a big yellow "A", and sighed in a high pitch voice, "Not again."

"Chp, what happened?" Tara asked as she leaned over on the counter.

He sadly looked up at Tara and shrugged his shoulders as Dana walked around her to Logan, "What happened?"

"I don't darlin'," Logan the skunk replied, "Croc popped open a bottle of Ninja Brew..."

"NINJA BREW!" Dana thundered and looked at the purse, "CROC!"

"Hey don't bleeping yell at me. I got enough problems as it is," Croc replied.

"Watch how you talk to the lady, bub," Logan threatened as he popped his claws out.

Dana rushed around the counter and opened Croc the purse as Croc protested, "Get your stinking filthy hands off of me you damned dirty Rainbow Bright!"

Dana pulled out the bottle and pulled the cork top off; she took a quick whiff of it a nearly vomited as she turned a shade of green. She closed her eyes, yanked her head away as she grimaced. Dana corked the bottle as she still kept her head away, "This isn't ninja brew...it's Ninshine!"

"Ninshine?" Tara replied tilting her head, "Isn't that illegal?"

"Yes," Dana huffed.

At the same time an irate skunk pulled the purse to his face and exclaimed, "Hey bub, you said it was Ninja Brew!"

"I can't read, so sue me," Croc deadpanned.

A few moments later a glowing Blue walked out wearing her, ahem, Halloween costume as Dana dumped the illegal contents down a drain. I closed the door and followed Blue to a table; Dana and Tara were utterly speechless as the tranquil Blue strolled by without saying a word. I waved to them and continued to follow the blue Sony Playstation.

Tara shook her head and shouted, "Ryan!"

I heard the shout but it sounded more like she spoke it, I turned around and walked over to her, "Yes?" I asked.

"Wh-wh-what did you do?" the befuddled Wolf asked.

"It's a secret, I can't tell you," I replied winking my eye as Tara shook her head.

"Ryan Wolf...," she replied before she caught a whiff of my cologne and completely forgot about Blue, "Mmm, Ryan what are you wearing?!?!?"

"Wolf's Passion," I answered.

"Mmm, I must get some of this for Red," she purred and kissed my cheek, "It's very stimulating...I'm going to check on your brother," she finished and walked away.

Now it was my turn to be befuddled. Tara kissed me? Me, little ol' Ryan Wolf, did the world stop again? First it was Dana, now Tara, what a glorious night! I wasn't finished, Wonder Woman emerged from the sea of humanity and gave me a little kiss on the cheek; she whispered something rather naughty in my ear and gave a flirty wink as she headed over to the bar. But wait! I still wasn't done! My eyes caught Talia and locked onto her, she saw me and also gave me a flirty wink as he rubbed her fine Arabian booty. Wow! At this rate, I'm in need of some serious cloning!

A slow song began to play, Blue and I held hands as we walked onto the dance floor. The fleshy Playstation wrapped her soft arms around my neck as I placed my hands on her hips. She gazed into my eyes, I tried to return the gaze, but that stupid head band completely covered her violet eyes, so I gazed at the green pyramid in the center of the band. We slowly swayed to the music, as we did Dana breathed a sigh of relief, the Blue Tasmanian Devil had been tamed, for now.

Someone opened a window and the full moon brilliantly shined into the room as Blue and I closed our eyes and moved in for a little smooch. Suddenly, I was hot, very hot, almost like I had fur as I felt a cold wet nose. Cold wet nose?

I opened my eyes and nearly jumped out of my fur, standing in front of me was a Blue Playstation Werewolf, proof positive that she is a natural blue. I still felt hot so I looked at my arms; I didn't like seeing dark furry arms so I looked down. I shot my head up and gave Blue a look of disbelief. The fact quickly sunk in that I was a werewolf once again; I gritted my canines and was about to let loose a verbal carpet bombing run when I felt a furry paw tap my shoulder.

I turned around and saw Tara, er, Tara the Raven Werewolf standing in front of me. She had her arms folded across her furry breasts; I could tell by the way she wagged her tail and that she was highly agitated, "I am not amused," she muttered as she tapped her foot.

"Great Hera!" I heard Wonder Woman exclaim.

Uh no! Not Diana! I looked over to where she was and reluctantly looked. Yes, her too and Red, the Naughty French Maid, she was a red werewolf! Who else? I thought as I furiously frantically scanned the room.

I shouldn't thought that, I saw a snarling Talia pulling out an Uzi and cocking it; every woman I kissed, the lone exception Harley, had turned into a werewolf along with me. I quickly turned around to Blue; she pulled her head band up, revealing her surprised violet eyes. She laughed a nervous laugh and closed her eyes as she slightly titled her head and waved at me.

My gritted pearly canines gnarled, "Here's another fine mess you've gotten me into..."

Pop Quiz

Twas Valentine’s Day and love was in the air except around me. I was sulking as if I was Tom Brady and had lost yet another Super Bowl to Eli Manning. I was a real sour puss I tell you.

Defending Western Civilization can be such a bear, especially on a holiday. The over grown toaster ovens, known as the Decepticons, had reared their uglee heads. They decided to attack my hometown of Miami. My squadron was called to duty, needless to say I had to cancel all my Valentine's Day plans and defend my native Miami.

Worse part of winning the day, I only had a tease of my home, seeing it from above. I had to leave the fun and the sun, the bikini babes and return to icy cold snowy New Jersey, the armpit of the northeast. I was dejected, seeing paradise from afar and returning to the bitter frigid purgatory that is Gotham. I started to quietly pout. I pouted harder as I realized I never even caught a fleeting glimpse of South Florida’s newest superheroine: the fiery Amazing Woman. I gazed at my feet the entire time I flew back to Gotham as I sat quietly in the cockpit.

I continued my moping as my exhausted bird pulled into her armored nest. I did my best Tom Brady impersonation as I walked away, keeping my depressed head down as I headed off for the debriefing. I kept my head down there too, sulking over the fact that I had to cancel a dinner with a Gotham goddess. Ironic I was bemoaning leaving Miami for the accursed Gotham, eh?

I was still sitting at my locker when the squadron went off to celebrate the victory, stewing away. I finally looked up as I heard the door close. I closed my eyes and growled a ominous growl that would've made the brass think I was a real true blooded werewolf. I decided to drown my pathetic sorrow and go on a Coca-Cola binge.

***

I reached inside my refrigerator without even looking in. I grimaced and untwisted the cap. I closed my eyes and took a big gulp of my all time favorite beverage. I knew something was amiss when that ice cold caffeine laced drink kissed my parched taste buds. It tasted good, but it was too sweet to be Coke; a taste I hadn't tasted since I was a young Wolf pup.

I opened my eyes as I put my arm out. I deduced I was drinking Pepsi, I saw that Sherlock Holmes would've been happy to see me make a successful conclusion as that. The wrapper stated I was drinking a throwback Pepsi, made with real sugar! "Pepsi," I mouthed and slowly gazed into the ‘frigerator.

I blinked not once, not twice, not thrice, but four times. The entire refrigerator was fully stocked of retro Pepsi. My six pack of Coca-Cola had been brazenly removed by someone. I closed the door and glanced around the kitchen, everything seemed to be in place. Satisfied I started to search my humble abode.

My autographed photos of Kelly, Jaime, Lilly, Kylee, and Amy were still hanging above my computer. I always like to have a sexy reminder of balmy South Florida when I use the 'puter. I smiled and left the photos of the Miami Dolphin cheerleaders and headed towards my bedroom. I stopped as I saw the door ajar and light knifing the darkness.

I cautiously opened the door and saw a ghost. A sexy ghost. A kunoichi ghost. A kunoichi murderous ghost only wearing a hot pink thong. The smexy spectre was lying on my bed reading my Birds of Prey comic books. The Legendary Dana Tan ignored me as she continued to nonchalantly read my comic book as I stood there...dumbfounded, speechless.

A humming Dana leafed through another colorful action packed page before her luscious red lips asked without picking up her head, "What's the matter Ry-Ry, never seen me topless before?"

I had seen Dana topless many times...it was the fact that I had never ever seen her topless in the past two years or better yet; not seeing her at all since her mysterious disappearance. "Lot's of times, Dana," I blankly stated as I my eyes wandered all over her as she continued to read my comic book. "But not in the last two years and in my bed." I momentarily paused and finished by saying something stupid, stupid as in what a green rookie would say, "Why are you reading my comic books in my bed?"

The annoyed ninja finished reading and closed the last purple page. Her eyes narrowed and glared at me. She rolled over onto her side, placed her soft hand on her hip; striking a perfect seductive pose. "Pop Quiz for the so called Superheroine Sidekick Extraordinaire. It's Valentine's Day and the woman you haven't seen in two years is in your bed only wearing the pink thong she teased you so much in-"

I broke the sound barrier running into the kitchen. In a flash I grabbed two ice cold Pepsis and ran back into my bedroom. I rushed in and sat down next to Dana. I handed over a Pepsi to my sexy friend. "I have some apple cider donut dough frozen at Sedux. I'll make a fresh batch in the morning.

"That's my Ry-Ry," Miss Murder purred as she opened her refreshing soda.

Elsewhere Akemi Shiori was busy disposing of the bodies. Lady Blue's alter ego was too busy to notice a pair of scarlet eyes appearing behind her. One was crisp, the other flickering as they grew larger. The voluptuous Japanese woman turned around to see a glaring snarling critically wounded Megatron.

"Fleshling. You owe me big time!" he lowly growled.

A bead of anime sweat appeared on Bluey's blue brow as she flashed a nervous cutesy smile, "Eh..."

Like...You Want Fries with That?

Something Lady Blue and I are working on. Enjoy.

***

It all started off as an innocent rescue mission. Tony Stark, the cheap playboy behind Iron Man, was banished to deep space by the Black Cat. The sexy feline was stealing an ancient Egyptian mystical artifact when Iron Man intervened. In a blinding flash of dazzling light...Iron Man was gone. Lady Blue and Darth Wolf set out to find Tony, but first a bite to eat. What in the Milky Way could possibly go wrong?

We join our heroines at Milliways, a kicking screaming hysterical Lady Blue is being dragged out by guards as Tara is out ice cold on the floor...

It wasn’t like Tara was a drunk, she was a woman who knew her limits. Four or Five Long Island Ice Teas would be plenty to get that warm fuzzy glassy blood shot eye feeling. Sadly after two our heroine promptly collapsed to the floor in a drunken stupor. Worse, it transpired a few minutes before the intergalactic police drug a struggling Bluey out.

The Vl’Hurg police picked up the inebriated Dark Jedi and drug her in the opposite direction of the kicking and screaming Lady Blue. The greedy corrupt police thugs recognized the petite dynamo the moment her and Blue-sama set foot inside the establishment. There was an intergalactic bench warrant out for her arrest as well as a bounty on her pretty little brunette head. All it took was one little exchange of the local currency and the barkeep spiked Tara’s drink.

The corrupt officers stripped her of EVERYTHING. They strapped a collar around her neck and left a box next to the sleeping Wolf. They tossed a sheet over her and allowed the drunk Sith to sleep it off as they examined her prized light sabre.

One of them activated it; it was a very moronic thing to do. Tara was still sleeping off her drug induced stupor to hear the blood curling agonizing scream of agony. The accursed humming purple weapon rolled into a corner as the Vl’Hurg picked up the cauterized limb as he screamed all the way to the infirmary.

The drugged Wolf slowly came out of her stupor. She shielded her sensitive eyes and glanced around the brightly lit room, even wincing she could see she was in a holding cell. “Bluey? What did you do now?” she moaned. She felt her elbow hit a box and a thump echoed in her cell.

Tara let the sheet slide off of her as she glanced down at the box. That’s when she realized that she was wearing her birthday suit, this was not kosher. The incensed Darth Wolf heard her light sabre humming in the corner. Naked or not, she was going to bust out of this galactic jail, she was an Imperial Commander after all.

The nude Wolf stood up and flicked her wrist open, calling her purple weapon of death. Her crony weapon committed mutiny, it refused to budge. Tara gritted her teeth and growled, “I said come to mommy!”

Inexplicably Tara felt the box nestling against her ankle, the shocked nude brunette glanced down and saw an envelope sitting atop a green outfit. She could see BLUE written in large blue letters. Tara knelt and picked up the envelope.

She sighed, closed her electric blue eyes and shook her head. Tara opened it and read aloud, “Put these clothes on or you will never see your blue haired friend again.” She huffed and crinkled the note. She reluctantly put the ‘outfit’ on. Her hunter green top had barely enough material to cover an American quarter. She then put on her matching skirt, it flowed freely down to her ankles. A single slit ran up her long shapely leg and right up to her well oiled hip.

“Sithspit,” she growled, “PK if you’re behind this I’m going to turn all your pumplings into pumpkin pie next Thanksgiving!”

At that time two Vidiians from the Delta Quadrant walked in. The two disfigured aliens picked up their instruments and scanned Tara. They looked at each other and nodded. “She’ll do quite nicely.”

Tara gnashed her angry teeth together, before she could fire off that she was an imperial officer of the galactic navy she threw her head back and screamed. A dazzling brilliant yellow energy field danced around her. She remembered her Dark Jedi training and attempted to feed off the pain to feed the Force, that’s when she finally felt the collar around her neck.

Her eyes slowly turned green as the yellow energy field ebbed. The roots of her silky hair turned green, slowly the greenness swam up to her ends. Tara sank to her knees, breathing heavily. She panted heavily as she leaned forward onto her hands. She closed her eyes and took several rapid shallow breaths. She opened them and saw the shock of her young life…her hands were turning green...

The Ghost of Christmas Moose Part IV

The dazed not-so-rabid warrior lifted up her heavy head and saw Ryan wearing only a hot pink bathrobe wrapped around his waist. She blushed hard and looked down at the tile, “Oh Ryan-kun!” The blushing Japanese woman looked up and much to her shock saw best friend and fiercest competitor, Dana Tan standing at the other end only wearing Ryan’s US Navy issued PT shirt. The petite ninja was practically swimming in it.

“I’m glad to see you’re secured enough in your manhood to wear pink,” she smirked as she walked over to him. She wrapped her soft arms around him; the New Year’s fireworks started early as they passionately kissed. She placed her hands on his cheek and pulled away just long enough to purr, “Merry Christmas, babe.”

Lady Blue’s mouth ever so slowly fell to the floor as she witnessed the spectacle. This is what she had hoped, planned, schemed, conspired for; even this was too shocking for her to see. She thought the whole world was going to end in some sort of cosmic calamity as Dana deftly removed his towel.

The embarrassed Blue turned around only to hear the sound of Dana agonizing in pain. She quickly turned her head around and saw Ch’p, the cutest Green Lantern Squirrel in the Milky Way; Croc; Captain America; Lady White; and a host of other Club Seduction regulars standing in a waiting room. Killer Croc was busy passing out the cigars as Dana continued to scream out.

Poor Ch’p was confused, the Green Lantern Squirrel gazed upon the long stogey and queried, “What’s this for?”

“Its tradition!” a boisterous Croc proclaimed.

“But Dana’s having a girl,” Ch’p replied as he tilted his head at the long dried out tobacco leaf.

“Fine!” Croc snapped as he ripped the cigars from people’s hands, “I’ll smoke ‘em all myself!”

Dana was screaming bloody tan murder in the delivery room; the brave blue haired kunoichi timidly peered inside as the screams turned into shrieks of pain.

“You did this to me!” Dana thundered as she dug her nails into Ryan’s hands, “You just couldn’t keep it in your pants.” She stopped and gnashed her teeth together, nearly biting her tongue in two as another intense round of pain struck.

“Like it’s my fault that you oil wrestled your evil twin while wearing that skimpy hot pink thong of yours,” he calmly replied. Lady Blue had tricked Dana into entering the Transmorigifier she borrowed from Calvin and Hobbs in hopes of boosting the profit margin for Club Seduction. Bluey split Dana into two separate nearly identical beings; one being good, the other evil, very reminiscent of a Star Trek re-run, the Good Dana prevailed.

The evil Dana ran away and swore revenge; she was about to annihilate Atlanta with a Hydrogen bomb when Ch’p, the cutest dreamiest Green Lantern squirrel in the Milky Way and Tara le Fay, a Dark Jedi from the Star Wars Universe, saved the day. The duo combined their powers and merged the two kunoichis back together.

Another excruciating wave of pain shot through the sweating Dana; she grabbed Ryan by his shirt and pulled him down to her snarling face. Dana gnashed her teeth together and growled, “Babe, you said you couldn’t get me PREGNANT!"

Again Ryan coolly addressed his delusional wife, “White-sama said that Bluey accidentally gave me the antidote…”

Lady Blue puckered her lips, “Oops,” and blushed very hard; she looked about her and quietly stepped outside.

“ANTI-DO-!” the growling She-Wolf yelped in pain and gave birth to her first born pup. She took a couple of deep calming breaths and gently placed her tired hand on Ryan’s cheek. “I’m going to kill Bluey,” she calmly stated.

Lady Blue walked into an empty Blue’s Tavern, except for Ryan and Dana at the counter. The confused sandalwood blue haired angel gazed back at the door and then her two best friends; it was as if she had never left. She saw Ryan beginning to kneel...KNEEL! Ryan was going to propose to Dana right then and there. The kunoichi could barely contain herself, like, what else is new?

The ninja was so overcome with joy that she began to shake and shiver as she placed her ball fists up to her chin. It was finally going to pay off; all those long nights planning and scheming as well as running up Dana’s credit cards were finally going to show fruition!

A bouncing Blue rushed up to the counter; she bounced and bounced as she squealed like a young Japanese girl, “Dana and Ryan’s getting married! Ryan-kun and Dana-kins are going to get married and have a little girl! I’m going to be Auntie Bluey!” Ryan and Dana sat there in stunned silence as Blue continued to bounce around. The still bouncing kunoichi grabbed Dana’s hand and excitedly asked, “May I be the Girl of Honor? Huh? Huh? May I?

“Bluey,” Dana replied giving her a strange look.

“Oh, I can’t wait,” the happily bouncing blue haired buxom ninja smiled as she continued to jump and clap her hands.

“Blue-chan! We’re not getting married.” Ryan’s voice was drowned out by Blue’s happy clapping. He looked over at Dana and shook his head.

Dana put her hand on Blue’s wrist, “We’re not getting married…”

Again Blue was too busy dancing and clapping to hear Dana; seconds later Dana and Ryan joined forces, “Bluey!!!!!!!”

Meanwhile, outside in the blizzard that crazy jerky Bull Moose peered inside the window as the snow fell harder. He snickered as he turned around to face you; with a friendly blink he was off and running back into the snowy Haunted Woods.

The End.

A Very Gotham Christmas

 

 

I first would like to thank Lady Blue, Space Chick, and Tara for their help in this.  

 

*** 

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Gotham not a person was celebrating, for Santa Claus, the jolly old elf, was not coming! Visions of sugar plum had been replaced with sugar gloom; Lady Blue had sealed Gotham’s Yule Tide doom. 

Twas an accident, a very understandable accident; Lady Blue zapped the North Pole’s power grid. She killed the power dude in the process, she did. Santa had no electricity and no toys, Santa became a killjoy. Gotham would get no toys. 

The whole incident was totally insane. The legendary Lady Blue killed that man with a triple red stripped candy cane right out in the middle of the gum drop plain. Right next to the plane on 1224 Mistletoe Lane. 

The mortified legendary ninja was Santa’s Number One fan! She was trying to stop pirates from ruining Christmas, she didn’t mean to kill that electric man. Now the buxom blue haired ninja babe was in a holiday jam! 

Santa was mad, Gotham as sad, the Pumpkin King was glad! Finally that blithering incompetent pumpkin murder would have coal stuffed down his stocking! All because of his air headed blue haired ninja he had that fling. It was good to be the king! 

Poor Lieutenant Commander Ryan for he wasn’t lyin’. He had the lovely Jaime, fan favorite Lilly, and little Kelly’s autograph. He would not be getting favorite of all time, the autograph of the voluptuous fiery Amy. 

Lady White was such a pretty sight as she was bathed in the red and green light. She thought that Santa would surely forgive her sensei’s Yule Tide blight and take his Christmas flight. He had too, Gotham was full of fear, it needed some Christmas cheer on this night! 

Dana Tan was as another kunoichi of legendary fame. She was cursing Lady Blue’s name. She knew her best friend and fiercest competitor was to blame. Christmas was more than a silly pirate vs. ninja game, killing a power man, how lame! 

 Ch'p, the extraterrestrial Green Lantern squirrel, to the ladies of Gotham he was the dreamiest of all. He picked up a phone and made a call, for he was on the ball. All he wanted was to spread Christmas cheer for all! 

The poor squirrel became deeply depress, when Lady Blue did confess, that she was the cause of this whole holiday mess! An idea, Ch'p would attest, sprung from Lady Blue's ADHD infected head of bless, would her Sith friend be up to the test? 

Her name was Tara le Fay and was in dismay. She vowed come what may that Santa would come to rue this day. She would find a way for Santa to sway, Gotham should not have to pay on this joyous holiday. 

Darth Wolf's lovely exterior hid the devious heart over saturated with sin. It was time for her to show a little skin. She wore a skimpy Christmas red negligee with fluffy Christmas white trim. She sat upon a festive gift wrapped box, looking so naughty and prim. 

Onto her chair, the Dark Jedi did hop. She quickly fired up her laptop and saved Christmas with one single scandalous photoshop. Her nimble fingers made a holiday cyber mess that not even Santa could mop. 

Oh the perfidy thought Mr. C. It was plain to see that this was a professional forgery. Still, he didn't want Mrs. C. to see. Her heart would not be filled with Christmas glee and he would be forced to flee right up a Christmas tree! 

A Long Island Tea Tara did crave, all this hard work making Santa cave like a knave. Joyful Boys and girl cheered and waved on the streets with snowy white pave. A very Gotham Christmas she did save.

The Ghost of Christmas Moose Part III

Blue tackled the monstrous antlered jolly beast; the two rolled in the bitter cold snow before Blue realized she was in the ball pit of Captain Pepperoni Pizza Emporium. The very same place Tara wanted the buxom kunoichi to help chaperone a birthday party. She saw Darth Wolf’s young pups having a ball; a drop of anime sweat beaded from her head. The valiant nervous ninja scanned for someone to get her out of this jam; she spotted Ryan and Dana sharing a brief kiss as they kept their watchful, well, that’s debatable, eyes on the children.

Dana looked down at Ryan’s lap and smirked; she looked up and said, “Really babe.”

Her Wolf was perplexed, “What?”

“You couldn’t wait to get me home,” she continued to smirk as he gazed seductively into his eyes.

“Get home and?” the puzzled pilot replied as leaned his head towards her.

The sexy imp picked up a napkin, “You creamed in your pants Ryan; you couldn’t wait to get me home, could you?” She smirked as her frisky hand wiped the pudding off his lap. The pilot closed his eyes and took a deep breath as her hand did something else; he leaned in and the two shared a passionate kiss.

Seeing them kiss again isn’t what got Bluey out of that ball pit; the fair kunoichi saw a slice of pepperoni pizza in front of Ryan. Ryan-kun couldn’t have pepperoni pizza; it gave him acid reflux as well as triggering other ghastly bodily functions, not to mention head pounding nauseating migraines! Bluey stormed out of that pit with her arms wildly flinging by her sides; the enraged ninja was going to give him and her a piece of her ADHD mind…he should know better and she should know better for letting him!

Dana rained on Blue’s parade as she picked up the slice of pizza and took a bite. Mt. Saint Bluey stopped and took a deep sigh of relief; then she smiled as she saw that Dana had wrapped her soft arm around Ryan’s neck. Could it be? Could it be true? Ryan and Dana were finally going to hook up?!?!?

The two love birds shared another kiss; Blue balled her fists and placed them on her thick curvy hips, “Hey you two...don’t make a spectacle out of yourselves, there’s people watching…namely me!”

Ryan broke away and took a sip of water; Dana snuggled into his hard chiseled chest as she watched the children play. Wolf put his glass down and kissed Miss Murder’s silky hair. Lady Blue was incensed that her two best friends were ignoring her; she cleared her throat and waved her hand, “Yoo-hoo, Ryan-kun…Dana-kins,” Bluey paused as she continued to wave her hand, “I’m over here…”

Ryan and Dana didn’t even blink; black toxic smoke billowed from her ears as she gnashed her teeth. She shouted a few choice words in Japanese, which weren’t nice, and hurled herself at her former best friends. Blue flew right threw them and landed hard on a bathroom tiled floor.

The Ghost of Christmas Moose Part II

Part 1 can be found here: http://thewolfswoof.blogspot.com/2008/12/this-is-my-christmas-story-for-2008.html

Yes, 2008 was three years, better late than never? This would also be a good time to cue Sarajevo 24/7 by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

***

Lady Blue wildly swung her balled fist into the air as she continued to follow the crazy jerky moose. The angry kunoichi snarled, “I killed you before, I’ll kill you again!” as she raced into an opening. The skillful ninja lost track of the moose as the snow fell harder; Blue looked around and saw a snowman standing in the middle of nowhere.

She blinked her violet eyes as she saw the snowman smile at her; she shook her pretty little blue head that was quickly piling up with white puffs of gentle snow. He continued to smile as his stick arm motioned for her to come over.

Behind the snowman a stood an old fashion drive thru movie wall; it turned to black as Blue neared. An HD movie with state-of-the-art surround sound began to play; Blue saw a tiny sleigh with nine reindeer flying through the dark skies, a US Navy fighter was escorting the sleigh as The Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Sarajevo 24/7 began to ominously play.

Suddenly she heard Ryan’s desperate voice over a menacing tone, “Santa! Can you get Rudolph to turn off his nose?”

“Sorry lad, he can’t,” Santa replied just before Ryan’s HUD turned a deep crimson red.

“Missile warning, Missile warning,” a soft voice repeated over in his helmet as the words blinked on his HUD.

“Incoming!” Ryan thundered and pulled his F/A-37 Talon into a sharp turn away from Santa; his nimble fighter belched flares and a chaff cloud as it raced away from Saint Nick. The QSAM (Quick-maneuvering Surface-to-Air Missile) locked onto the US Navy fighter and streaked away from the Jolly Ol’ Elf and his reindeer.

“Doom must really be peeved at me,” Ryan thought as he experienced chest crushing G-forces. Wolf huffed and grunted as the deadly missile neared; his bird shrieked as she continued to turn tighter than her engineers designed her to. Cold air vortexes formed on her wings as she continued her conga dance with Doom’s bucket of coal.

The Talon came around in front of Santa and the boys; a pleasant ringing tone was intermingled with the “Missile Warning,” that echoed in his helmet. It was so intermingled that Ryan didn’t hear it at first, but when he heard it, it was sweet: His bird had locked onto the Latverian defense site.

A sleeping AGM-88 Harm missile dropped from his weapon’s carousel; it awoke and blazed a fiery smoky path down to the earth. It gave the Latverian defense installation the kiss of death, the installation disappeared into a fiery fireball that could be seen for hundreds of miles in the cold air.

“ALL CLEAR SANTA!” the jubilant US lieutenant shouted.

“Thank you Ryan,” a relieved Santa smiled, “By the way, you’ve never told me what you wanted for Christmas.”

“For Dana Tan to give me the time of day,” Ryan promptly replied.

Blue’s little heart broke as she watched; her best friend, Dana Tan, was notoriously bad on teasing her Ryan-kun. A little tear formed at the edge of her sad violet eye and slowly ran down her soft face. The tear turned into ice as it dropped from Blue’s angelic face.

“Ryan, that’s not up to me; it’s up to Dana,” Santa countered as the classified US air superiority fighter banked away.

Lady Blue sighed and was whacked with the head of the now decapitated snowman; the laughing moose put his massive back legs down and bounded away into the blinding snow storm. She envisioned bloody moose entrails littering the snow white landscape as she wiped the snowman’s head from her violet eyes; her anger melted the snow that lay on her silky sandalwood scented blue hair. Visions of moose jerky danced in her mind’s eye as fiery red stacks of smoke poured from her angry ears. She pulled out her trusty katana, again, from goodness knows where; she thundered her battle cry and lunged for the snickering Bull Moose.

Blue Friday

My 2007 Black Friday Story

***

It was the Friday after Thanksgiving, Black Friday; without any fanfare my F-37 landed at Cape Canaveral AFB at 0 Dark 30. Her every taxi move was mirrored by two AH-64 Apache Longbow helicopters as they flew escort. They thundered away as the doors of the secure hangar were shut tight; my bird stopped as Air Force airmen rushed up to my exhausted bird. They could clearly read on the fuselage the black words, "Blue-chan."

I crawled down my ladder and ran my fingers across the black letters; I smiled as I looked at the words. I turned around and walked out the building; once I was outside I was whisked away in an armored Hummer and taken to my classified meeting.

Moments later I was inside the colossal Vehicle Assembly Building (VAB) at the Kennedy Space Center, the majestic Space Shuttle Atlantis was there awaiting her next launch into cold space. I got goose bumps as I thought what might be in ten years: Staring at the Orion rocket, the one that would take America back to the moon, with me commanding the mission.

As I pondered the future I smelled a hint of sweet smell. I took a sniff, it smelled like sandalwood. SANDLEWOOD! My eyes opened wide with frightful delight. I mean, I love her to pieces; I named my F-37 after her, but she couldn't be here. This was a classified mission, if anyone saw her; I was in deep doo doo!

I turned around as the smell of sandalwood grew stronger, I flashed a nervous smile as I heard a whisper, "Psst, Ryan-kun!" At this moment I knew exactly what Larry Hagman's character, Major Nelson, on 'I Dream of Jeannie' felt whenever Jeannie popped out in the middle of nowhere. Where ever my precious Blue-chan went, hijinx would quickly ensue.

I saw Blue smiling and waving from behind a stack of boxes, she wore a white NASA hat over her silky blue hair. I looked around to see if anyone was there and ran over to the box. I gritted my teeth and lowly growled, "Blue-chan, what are you doing here?!?"

"I have to protect you, Ryan-kun," she replied utterly clueless of my anger.

"I'm on the most fortified base in America, I'm completely safe here!" I countered.

"Ryan-kun," she chided me as she shook her pretty little blue head. She placed her warm soft hand on my cheek, "You still don't understand, Kunoichi's can penetrate anything they so choose."

"I'm supposed to be alone, if they see you here. I may be court-martialed!"

She smiled continuing to ignore or not seeing my point, "I can be your navigator."

"The F/A-37 doesn't have a navigator!"

"Oh," she blankly replied and looked away. She looked back and me and smiled, "I'll be your crew chief!" She pointed to her hat, "See, I even have a hat!" Blue pulled it off and her silky sandalwood scented hair gracefully fell to her shoulders.

I closed my eyes as she uttered, "Whoops."

I opened them and sternly said, "No!"

Blue's pretty violet eyes became misty, she gave me her sad puppy dog look; she stuck out her bottom lip, it quivered. Oh, how I hate that look! It makes me do things I know I'm going to regret; at times I'd rather swim through a boiling acid sea, have lemon juice poured over a paper cut, or listen to an entire Yoko Ono album than give in. I took a deep breath, stood firm and proceeded to collapse like a house of cards, "Ok, crew chief."

Blue closed her eyes as she clapped her hands together and squealed like an anime/manga cartoon babe. She gave me a big hug and kissed me, "Thank you Ryan-kun!"

Suddenly we heard a, "Lieutenant Wolf!"

Blue scrambled to put her hair back in place under the hat as I walked towards the mighty Atlantis. I looked back and Blue was gone; I breathed a sigh of relief and prayed that she'll do what she does best: Stay in the shadows and out of sight.

A team of secret service elves walked into the room, they all sported dark sunglasses. Each wore a black suit, white shirt, with a black tie; one of them held his ear and said, "All clear."

Seconds later the jolly old fat white bearded man of Christmas Cheer walked into the room, my classified mission of national security was now complete. His robust voice boomed, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Ryan! How are you lad?"

"I'm good Santa, you?" I innocently replied.

Santa gave me an all knowing look; he shook his head in disapproval, "Ryan. I'm Santa, I know all about you being naughty."

Whoops would be an understatement. I felt like I was shrinking in my flight suit and concurred, "Um, yes, you do."

He looked at me with a stern face and then continued, "Especially with Lima Alpha Delta Yankee Bravo Lima Umbrella Echo," he finished and gave me a little wink.

I snickered for a moment and replied, "Santa, why did you spell her name phonetically?"

"Because she mistook Rudolph for an elk a few Christmas Eve's ago," a wincing Santa replied. "He still gets the shakes when he hears 'Blue Christmas'."

"That's my girl..."

Santa and I changed the discussion to my Christmas Eve escort, Rudolph brought out some milk and cookies as we continued to chat away. I would have to run a few extra laps to burn off all those extra delicious calories, but hey, it's Christmas!

Suddenly there arose such a clatter; Santa and I sprang from our seat to see what the matter was. Then what to our wondering eyes did appear, a tied up blue haired woman and eight tiny elves. The blue haired woman was wrapped like a Christmas present, she squirmed as she protested, "But I was searching his sleigh for a bomb, honest!"

And the unbelieving lead elf replied as he dismissed her confession with the wave of his hand, "We hear it all the time."

I buried my face in my palm of my hand as they unceremoniously flopped the reluctant Blue Christmas present in front of Santa. I knew my commission in the Navy was just about to expire.

Santa looked down at the violet misty eyed woman, then looked up at me and queried, "Ryan?"

"Uh, this is my navigator," I caught myself and said with urgency, "No! She's my crew chie..." I stopped and looked at Santa; the look on his face said everything. I knew he wasn't buying my fib, I threw my arms down as I huffed the truth, "Ah, you know who she is!"

"Yes, I do," he answered and pulled out a little scroll. The little scroll unrolled and kept unrolling as it ran out the door, which was some fifty feet away, as he continued, "She's been very naughty girl."

"You don't know the half of it," I mumbled before I realized who I was talking to, "Then again, you do,” I finished as I scratched the back of my head. Blue put her head down, her cheeks turned red as she looked up at me with her eyes.

"But she hasn't been near as naughty as Dana," Santa laughed. "Release the lass!" he ordered and Lady Blue was freed.

Blue could not contain herself in the presence of Santa; she was one of his biggest fans. Lady Blue tackle glomped him into next Christmas Eve before his secret service elves had time to react. She attempted to wrap her petite arms around the robust Christmas icon, but couldn't. "SANTA!" she thundered as she gave him a big hug.

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa thundered as Blue gave him a hug. He warmly returned the hug; Blue sat on his knee and folded her hands in her lap. I watched in wonder as she became a little girl again, she looked so innocent as she talked to him.

Santa smiled and asked what she wanted for Christmas; Blue cupped her mouth as Santa leaned down. She whispered something that made his cheeks flush with red; Santa's eyes widen with shock as he looked at me.

Santa looked at her and winked his reply, "Lass, that's Ryan's department."

Blue sweetly giggled and turned to look at me; my sexy ninja jumped into the air and landed in my arms, "Where's the mistletoe when you need it," I commented.

Blue giggled and then gave me a soft kiss. I returned the kiss and gazed into her eyes. It didn't last long as she hopped out of my strong arms and drug me away from Santa, "Come on Ryan-kun! The Merritt Island Mega Mall closes in fourteen hours! We have so much shopping to do in so little time!"

Santa grabbed his jelly belly and laughed, "HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!"

Kiss of the Vampiress-Part 2

The dramatic climatic conclusion of the Kiss of the Vampiress! (Pic...Marlina Moreno)

***

Dana and Ryan walked hand and paw as they traversed the Haunted Woods; the eerie fog grew thicker as the dreadful pirate music continued to grow louder with every step. They soon came upon a burnt wreckage of a US Navy F/A-18 Super Hornet.

Ryan placed his furry paw on the tail of what used to be a Jolly Roger F/A-18 Super Hornet; the skull and crossbones on the tail section sported burn marks, it was the only recognizable part of the doomed aircraft. The rest of the dead naval bug was charred. “So this is where it landed,” Ryan mumbled, “Damn. Millions of hard earned US tax payer money literally went up in smoke!”

“I’ll get that Pumpkin King if it’s the last thing I do!” the perturbed Wolf snarled as a filthy black raven landed on a fiery autumn tree limb above him.

“It wasn’t the Pumpkin King,” Dana replied shaking her head as she rested her appealing hand atop the aviator’s warm fuzzy paw.

“I saw it with my own eyes, Dana. Pumpkin Puss destroyed my Crossfire and went after the Hornet; his appetite for destruction is insatiable!” Ryan countered as his strong fluffy fist struck the crispy fried fuselage.

The voluptuous Vamp calmly dropped a bombshell, “I created the legend of the Pumpkin King to keep Bluey out of the pumpkin patch.” Dana stopped, looked around, leaned towards Ryan, and whispered, “It’s where I store my secret cache of Halloween candies. She gave him a wink and let the tall dark handsome Werewolf ponder her confession.

Ryan mentally dusted off from the 500 pound verbal bomb that Dana dropped, as the dust settled in his brain he only came to one irrational pirate hating realization; The Wolf dryly growled, “So, it was the Blueberry Queen.”

***

The blue haired ninja flashed Tara a funny look; she looked back at her faithful sweet buxom sidekick, Lady White, and politely asked, “White-sama, can you watch the bar for a minute?”

Lady White, dressed a sexy devil, closed her eyes and nodded her head, “Sure thing Blue-sama!”

Blue grabbed Tara by the wrist and whisked her away into a back room; she pushed the amused Wolf into the room, looked it see if anyone was looking, and slammed the door shut. She folded her arms under her ample chest and huffed, “What’s gotten into you, Tara?”

“Don’t be coy with me,” Tara replied still purring away as she placed her hands on her delicate hips, “I know what you did to Dana.” She leaned forward as her eyes sparkled, “I know all about the ninshine you placed in her soda.”

“Ninshine? Er, uh, um, ah, isn’t that stuff illegal,” the squirming tap dancing ninja replied.


“Illegal as hell!” Tara laughed as she sported a smug smile, “You and Dana have shared the title of Ms. Kunoichi for the past three years. Blue flashed a nervous smile as Tara continued to tell her tale as she slowly walked around the sweating still squirming blue haired ninja, “So you devised a devious plan to inebriate Dana, thus you’d be a shoo-in to win the title.” Tara picked up an index finger, “But there’s one slight miscalculation on your part.”

“And, uh, that is?” the anxious kunoichi replied as she played with her nervous fingers.

“Captain America was supposed to be the judge and he’s been called away on urgent Avenger business by order the American President, which leaves Ryan as the backup,” she quickly changed the subject as she continued, “Really though, Bluey, I don’t know what you see in either of them, Red X, or Iron Fist for that matter.” Tara stopped, placed her hands on Blue’s tense shoulders and cooed in her ear, “Ryan’s with that tramp, Dana, he inadvertently drank some of the tainted soda.”

Blue’s violet eyes exploded with fear as Tara exploded into a hideous laughter; she just wanted Dana out of the way so she could win the title, not harm her precious Ryan-kun, he was her numero uno pilot! Blue quickly spun around and saw Tara’s eyes glowing green. The blue haired ninja narrowed her now angry violet’s, “You!”
“Yes, my child,” the Temptress of Malevolence replied as she shifted her weight to her right hip and placed her soft hand on top, “I must say, Tara’s been an excellent host.”

No sooner had she finished that Tara started to cough uncontrollably; the host of the Temptress fell to her knees as she continued to cough. The coughing Wolf suddenly started to wheeze as she placed her hand onto her bust.
Blue quickly knelt down next to Tara; she placed her hands on her shoulders as she asked with great concern, “Tara-sama are you alright?”

“Quite,” she coldly answered and used her Force enhanced speed to grab Blue cheek’s and pulled the stunned ninja onto her ruby red lips; the Temptress gave Blue a big kiss as the skilled Kunoichi vainly fought to push away, seconds later the Temptress released her host and Tara fell to the floor.

The cautious ninja took a few steps back as the moaning Wolf slowly rose to a knee; the haggard woman brushed some locks of silky raven hair aside and looked up at blue, her electric blue eyes had returned. The ninja and Wolf started a staring contest, one that Tara would break as she uttered, “Wow, I forgot what it’s like to be evil.”

***

The ear splitting raucous pirate music ended as Ryan’s sharp claw hit the stop button on Dana’s CD player, Ryan knew he had been set up; he looked back at sexy succubus and expected to see her pointing her wicked side arms at him.
Instead, the smug ninja had folded her arms in front of her chest as Ryan turned around, the Werewolf asked, “Why?”

The vampires ninja waltzed up next to her mortal enemy and pushed another button. Duran Duran’s ‘Hungry like the Wolf’ began to play as she momentarily gazed into his dark eyes and sashayed away. She continued to remain silent as put her hands up, gracefully twirled around and faced Ryan, “The Haunted Woods are the only safe place where a Vampiress and Werewolf can mate.”

Ryan put his furry arms out and replied, “Why tonight? We could’ve done this anytime after we rescued Bluey from Dr. Doom’s Castle.”

Dana gave him a wanton look before she gave him her back and purred, “Because.” Ryan’s ears perked up as his super sensitive Lycan hearing could hear her zipper unzipping. The curious Wolf tilted his head as she continued, “Tonight’s the only time a Vampiress is,” Dana continued as she turned around giving Ryan an eyeful of her impressive 36c bust, “Fertile.”

She threw her head back, her silky brown hair bounce in place as she took a deep breath causing her nearly freed breasts to jiggle; she shifted her wait to her right hip and rested her soft hands on her hips. The luscious seductress licked her intoxicating glossy red lips, “Like what you see, babe?”

His fluffy tail and furry ears stood at attention as his eyes filled with unadulterated lust; the Wolf most definitely liked what he saw. Dana could easily see that, Ryan’s wet slobbering drooling tongue was dangling a millimeter from the damp foggy ground.

***

Lady Blue helped Tara up; she wrapped her arm around the Jedi’s waist and walked her out into the hall, “Are you alright?”

Tara placed a hand on her head and moaned, “I think so.” She shook her head as she looked down at the floor, “Gods, I’ve never felt that kind of intoxicating power before.”

Blue was about to reply when her sensitive ninja nose picked up a foul scent; she stopped and sniffed the air. Tara smelt it too; she grimaced as the two looked at each other, grimacing. “What’s that smell?” Lady Blue.

Tara winced as she replied, “Whatever it is; it’s pretty damned ripe!”

“Gross,” Blue grimaced and walked Tara back out to the bar. Mercifully the smell dissipated; Tara flicked her wrist, moments later her skirt flew into her awaiting hands.

***

The smug vamp took a couple of steps towards the fully aroused Wolf; suddenly she lost her footing and stumbled into him. Ryan caught her and looked down at her, “Dana, are you alright?”

She slowly picked up her light head and looked at him with her glassy red eyes, Dana saw two blurry dark Wolves and replied as she weakly wrapped a soft arm around his fuzzy body, “No, babe. I’m very dizzy.”

Ryan bent his knees as was about to effortlessly pick her up when his knees buckled; his knees sunk into the damp ground as they kissed the foggy terra firma. The dazed Wolf shook his head as he labored to breathe; he fell backwards, taking the wobbly Vampiress with him as he hit the ground hard.

***

Xu was carefully poured the rancid concoction into the transmorgafier refiner; it would take mixture and refine it to a higher yield as well as duplicating the liquid. He closed the little hatch as he let out a low evil snicker; he glanced over at the control pad. His eyes widen as he realized he made a miscalculation, the red light was blinking; only scant seconds left till detonation, “Oh drat.” A split second later a toxic green mushroom cloud of smoke enveloped the tavern.

The locals exited the tavern coughing, gasping, and gagging at the putrid rancid toxic green gas that filled the watering hole. Lady Blue and Lady White helped a hacking coughing Tara out of the tavern; the toxic smell did nothing to help her after her little encounter with the Temptress.

“That’s it!” Croc thundered, “Next time the Higher Power says to eat at Taco Bell, I’m saying HELL NO!”

Ch’p flew out behind Crocodile; the little Green Lantern had a green mask over his head as he helped direct traffic out into the parking lot. “That’s the last time I bring a triple refried double stuffed burrito for Croc,” Chp commented.

The erotic and very sophisticated Talia ah-Ghul marched out taking a drag on her long cigarette, she was quite revolted to say the least; “At least Ryan didn’t turn me into a Werewolf this year,” she huffed as she marched out the Tavern wildly waving her hand in the air.

Xu staggered out and belched a single puffy greenish cloud of smoke. He looked sorta like a raccoon; his face was totally toxic green except for the light spot around his eyes, where his safety goggles were.

He stopped a few steps in front of the door, blankly blinking as patrons continued to pour out of the smoky rancid smelly bar. A dog walked out the woods and sat in front of the evil doctor, the pooches tail began to wag as another dog sauntered out. It, too, sat down in front of the mind numb Asian man; Xu looked down at the happy canines. A few seconds later, a few more walked up as they wagged their happy tails; off in the woods he could hear a pack of dogs howling at the full moon.
Xu realized he had made another terrifying blunder, Lady Blue didn’t find him irresistible; it was the mangy dogs! To his chagrin Lady Blue’s loveable dog, Sturmer strolled out; he stopped and sat down. The massive Mastiff’s eyes transformed into a pair of crimson pumping hearts; unadulterated fear gripped Xu’s face, canines-including Sturmer, not Lady Blue, found him totally irresistible! He ran away screaming his lungs out as the happy yipping yapping barking dogs followed in his horror filled wake.

Dana awoke with her head on fire, she opened her burning eyes. The Tan ninja could sense she was in the donut shop; the whole room was spinning at warp speed. Mercifully the room slowed to impulse speed and the wildly spinning kaleidoscope of color became the donut shop. The dizzy Kunoichi felt she was lying atop a warm body, she looked down and saw a blur, her eyes couldn’t focus, “Ryan, is that you babe?” she weakly asked.

Ryan was lying on the cold tile floor; he awoke in utter pain as well, his right arm was wrapped around her petite waist. He gently rubbed her back as he moaned, “Mom never said it would be like this.”

Dana brushed a few strands of haggard hair from her eyes, “You alright?”

“Besides the back, neck, and excruciating headache, I’m beautiful,” Ryan faintly answered as his other hand gently caressed her hand, “You?”

The woozy Kunoichi realized she was still wearing her smexy outfit; she looked down at herself and saw her top unzipped down to a dangerous level, a copious amount of inviting cleavage was bursting forth onto Ryan’s bare masculine chest. She grabbed her top and looked back up at Ryan, “Did we do anything?”

“All I remember is a neurotic dream,” Ryan replied rolling his burning head over onto the cool tile floor.

“Dream,” Dana took several deep breaths; sending her ample cleavage heaving, “You had it too?” she finished as she shook her brown head. It was something else the two had shared since joining their energies before they rescued Lady Blue from the grubby clutches of one Victor von Doom.

The Kunoichi wrapped her soft arm under Ryan’s aching body, and helped him sit up. She placed her warm soft hands on his cheeks and pulled him in for a gentle kiss; Ryan slowly returned it, this one would’ve become fiery if not for their near splitting headaches.

Their wits slowly returned to them as they broke away from their kiss, Ryan lay his head on Dana’s soft shoulder and suddenly smelled something rotten in the shop; Dana smelt it to.

“Ew, what’s that smell?” a grimacing Dana asked.

“I hope I didn’t leave your special batch out all night,” Ryan replied looking back at the slowly spinning counter.

The aching Kunoichi shook her head, “No, it smells like six week old fermented wolf urine.”
“Uh, how would you know about that?”

Dana tried to smile, “Remember last Halloween, I didn’t kiss you, remember? I was with Blue as she made ‘Wolf’s Passion’.”

“Oh,” Ryan replied as he remembered every single woman he kissed or was kissed by transformed into a Werewolf, it wasn’t a pretty sight.

Moments later she gently lay Ryan down onto her soft plush bed, “Better babe?” she warmly asked.

“Mmm, much,” Ryan replied trying to smile as his temples continued to painfully throb.

Dana rubbed his forehead and slowly rose, she zipped herself up and walked into her kitchen. She brought back two water bottles and something for Ryan to take.
Moments later Dana laid her tired head down on his hard masculine chest; Ryan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and the two went back to sleep.

Their beauty sleep lasted a nanosecond as loud obnoxious banging could be heard followed by a muffled, “Dana-kins!” Even though the voice of one Lady Blue was muffled, Ryan and Dana could hear the franticness as she continued, “Dana-kins!”
The aching duo winced with every pounding of the steel door by the desperate ninja. Their collective heads throbbed harder with every nauseating pound on the door by Bluey’s furious fist. A wincing Dana slowly rose up as Ryan placed his steadying hands on her hips; she staggered to the door as Lady Blue continued to pound the pain deeper into Dana and Ryan’s throbbing brains, “Dana-kins!”

The door opened as fast as it could, revealing a blood shot eyed tired Kunoichi, she half growled, “Bluey, what do you want?”

Blue flashed a nervous smile as she gazed upon her handy work, “Uh,” she replied nervously and paused for a few awkward seconds before she finished, “Have you seen Ryan-kun?”

Dana picked up on Blue’s actions immediately, she still may have been under the influence of a mind numbing hangover, but she knew her best friend like the back of her soft hand. Miss Tan narrowed her blood red eyes and growled, “Bluey, what did you do?”

Before Lady Blue could tilt her head, close her violet eyes and flash her trade mark, fake, innocent smile and reply, a large black furry arm hastily grabbed her and pulled the stunned ninja in; Dana’s scowl quickly turned into a smirk as she shut the triple reinforced steel door and locked it.

A muffled, “Ryan-kun! My, what big,” could be heard, followed by an uneasy gulp until it faded away.

***

Elsewhere, a certain Jedi awoke still dressed in the previous night’s attire. Tara took her silky mini skirt off and dropped it as she staggered to her bathroom. She clumsily removed her cheerleading top, revealing a silky white bra. One could see a slight hint of her reddish brown nipples as she stood in front of the mirror.
She rubbed her tired eyes, the sleepy She-Wolf opened them and froze in her tracks as she saw a hooded figure standing next to her reflection in the mirror. The pissed Jedi whisked around to face the Temptress.

The Wolf’s eyes glowed a deathly emerald as she smiled sinisterly. She glanced back down at her hostess incredible body. Tara faced the mirror as a soft hand explored her scintillating image; she put her head back and purred, “Mmm,” as her soft hand rubbed her neck. The Temptress ran Tara’s other hand through her soft silky jet black hair. The smug angel looked back at the mirror and smiled, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you Tara?”

Her glowing green eyes momentarily flickered a fiery red as the image replied, “Yes!”

Kiss of the Vampiress-Part 1

I checked my blog the past few days to see if I ever posted this story here. I can't find it, so I guess I never did. It's my 2008 Halloween story. I'm breaking it down into two parts.

***

The rabid insane blue haired ninja was back to full power and up to no good; Lady Blue snuck into Ryan’s donut shop and pulled out an ice cold bottle of Pepsi that was marked, “Dana.” The mischievous Kunoichi took out a syringe and punctured the top; the needle was so small that no one would know and it would seal the wound as Blue extracted the shiny needle.

She evilly smiled as she injected the contents of the syringe into the Pepsi; Blue laughed a low maniacal laugh and put the tainted cola back into the refrigerator. The skilled ninja teleported back into the tavern, she rubbed her hands together as she laughed a laugh that would make Dr. Doom’s little heart swell with pride, “Mwah-ha-ha-ha!”

Sometime later Ryan Wolf was wrapping up shop, he had a few tasty apple cider donuts set aside for his beautiful Kunoichi friend, Dana Tan. The scrumptious little morsels were packed in their own zip lock bag to maintain optimal freshness.

Miss Tan and Lady Blue were the best of friends and yet the fiercest of competitors, a fact that was all too familiar for patrons of Blue’s Tavern. Sadly, at times, it became so fierce that the innocent loyal patrons fell prey to their notorious pranks.
Ryan was finishing last minute business when his front door opened; he looked up and saw Dana walking in dark shiny form fitting leather attire. She had shimmering silver bracelets that ran from her small wrist to her mid forearm, Dana had two wicked looking side arms sitting on her curvy hips, her weapons ammunition was strapped around her tender thighs; Ryan stopped and stood up, “Whoa, Dana.”

Dana smiled, “Hey babe, take it you like the outfit.”

“That my dear Dana would be an understatement,” the suddenly ravenous Wolf replied as his naughty eyes painted every inch of her ninja goddess body. He reached inside his refrigerator and pulled out the ice cold Pepsi bottle marked, “Dana.”

Miss Tan thanked him as she took it from him; the parched ninja took a few sips as Ryan gave her a donut. “Mmm,” she purred as before she sank her pearly mandibles into the tasty treat.

Ryan pulled out a Pepsi of his own, opened it, and set it down on the counter, next to Dana’s. He leaned against the counter, “Ready for the Miss Kunoichi 2008 Pageant?”
The smug Dana replied, “It’ll be a cake walk,” as she took a few steps backward, facing him. The 2008 Miss Kunoichi contestant slowly unzipped herself, once again teasing Ryan. She giggled as she pointed to her gleaming eyes, “My eyes are up here…Ryan-kun.” She smiled and zipped herself up as she walked back to the counter.


He could clearly see that Dana Tan had been working on her tan! An arousing Ryan replied, “Better not get me drunk, Blue-chan, or there’s going to be trouble,” as he kept his eyes locked on his smiling friend and accidentally picked up her ice cold caffeinated drink. He took a couple of sips and put it down; the two continued to talk and drinking their Pepsi, a distracted Ryan continually to drink some of Dana’s every now and then.

Purring Dana leaned over on the counter, rested her chin on her hand, and asked, “What are you going to be for Halloween?”

Halloween was knocking on the door and the procrastinating naval ace pilot still hadn’t decided! “Um, I’m still working on it,” he meekly replied.

Dana stood up and walked around the counter swaying her well oiled hips; she gave Ryan a rather sultry looked and purred, “Why not go as the Werewolf?”

“Werewolf?!?!?” Ryan laughed.

“Yes, you are big and strong as him, and very handsome, Ryan,” Dana replied as she grabbed his collars with her soft hands, pouring on the charm. She pulled him ever so close to her goddess face and continued, “I can smell the Lycan virus swimming in your veins; I can taste it when I kiss you.”

Ryan went along with the act, “Funny, that’s almost what Fang Puss said when Captain America, Blue, and I, along with the Avengers battled him and his undead cronies. Navy flight surgeons have screened me, tests were negative.”

“You are a Wolf,” Dana countered as she titled her head and brought her sensual lips oh so close to his. Her hot breath kissed his lips as she finished, “It’s in your family heritage.”

A fully aroused Ryan looked at her funny as he took a deep breath, “Did Dracula give you these talking points?”

She giggled, “I’m going as a vampiress.” Dana opened her mouth and hissed; Ryan could see her canines were at typical vampire feeding length.

He laughed, “Good trick Dana! Go ahead and take a bite!” Ryan innocently put his head up giving her free reign to bite as he pointed to his jugular vein.

Vampirella licked her glossy ruby red lips and lustfully replied, “I will.” She wrapped her inviting arms around his neck and loudly hissed as her eyes turned dark as coal. She clamped down onto his neck, her two canines easily punctured his exposed flesh; the Wolf shrieked in pain, he could feel her razor sharp canines sinking deep into his neck as his life oozed into her ravenous mouth.

His neck was on fire, Ryan tried to scream more, but couldn’t, he had no energy. He slowly sunk to the floor gasping for air as he blankly looked at the top of Dana’s head. The sexy vampires knelt with him as he continued to sink; she released her grip and kissed the twin puncture wounds, instantly healing them.

Ryan blankly looked up at her as she stood; Dana licked the last bit of his tasty blood off her inebriating ruby red lips, “Mmm, you are delicious Ryan. Don’t worry, your Lycan immune system will kick in and crush the Vampire virus that I passed on. Consequently, you will turn into the Werewolf in mere minutes.”

Ryan watched in horror as the smexy vampire knelt to one knee, she pulled out one of her side arms and fed it. The smug Tan looked over at pilot and said, “Silver bullets, Ryan.”

***

Meanwhile Tara, dressed as a San Diego Charger Cheerleader, was manning the bar along with Lady Blue, the usual zany crowd was there dancing, drinking, and bragging the night away. The Dark Wolf was cleaning up after Croc left for some impromptu karaoke.

Tara looked over at Blue, “Have you seen Dana?”

Blue snickered, “Dana?” The blue haired ninja cleared her throat, “No, I haven’t seen her in hours.”

Tara looked up at the clock, Dana was super late for her shift; she looked back at the scheming Kunoichi, “I’m going to look for her.”

Inwardly Blue panicked, she didn’t want Tara to blow her plans to smithereens; she quickly grabbed Tara’s wrist, she shook her head, “She’s probably with Ryan.”

“Never mind,” Tara replied shivering as she remembered hopping off a CH-53 Super Stallion and watching the love birds carry on high above on the USS Abraham Lincoln’s Vulture Row, “I really really don’t want to go barging in and seeing something I don’t really really wanna see.

***

Ryan took a big deep breath of unadulterated fright and stammered, “You’re, you’re, you’re going to wait until I transform, kill me, and collect the bounty on my head!”
Dana warmly smiled and shook her head; Ryan still didn’t know her, “No, babe,” she said and placed a soft reassuring hand on his knee and continued, “You know I have more money than most countries, you’re one of my best friends…family. I couldn’t do that to you.”

Ryan found the strength to stand up, Dana followed, he looked down at the pretty ninja midget, was she shrinking? No, he was growing! He picked up his arms and looked at him, his forearms were huge; his keen canine nose picked up an odd scent Dana was emitting, her vampire virus he surmised.

“Blue was right, you are better as the Wolf,” Dana licked her intoxicating lips as she gazed upon the majestic midnight black Werewolf standing in front of her.

The Wolf lowly growled at his mortal enemy, in a blur his furry paw grabbed Dana by the throat and effortlessly picked her up; he snarled as he brought her up face to face. The vampiress Kunoichi was unconcerned until Ryan suddenly changed his demeanor and gave her a long lick with his stinky smelly wet sloppy tongue.
“We’re even,” Ryan stated as he gently put his shivering friend back down on the floor.

“Oh, Ryan! YUCK!” Dana exclaimed as she wiped her fair face, “Ppppffftttt!”

***

Somewhere in the deepest bowels under the tavern, the mad genius Dr. Xu was hatching his latest fiendish plot. The dentist madly smiled as he put his latest contraption together, this time it was fool proof; he meticulously checked, rechecked, and triple checked his calculations. Lady Blue would fall madly in love with him and leave Ryan, Red X, Iron Fist and the other boys for him!

He greedily rubbed his hands as he let out a low menacing laugh, his teeth were gnashed together as he looked upon the machine that would soon deliver his fail proof potion. “Soon, very soon, Lady Blue; you’ll be all mine, Mwah-ha-ha-ha!!!

***

Croc stepped up to the karaoke mic and proceeded to go on a major F-Bomb bombing run, as well as some rather colorful metaphors, as he screamed, yelled, and thundered away.

Chp, the cutest Green Lantern in the entire Milky Way, according to Tara, Dana, Blue and a sea of other female patrons, flew into the bar and landed in front of Tara. He twitched his nose and glance back at Croc, “Boy, he sure is loud tonight!”
“Isn’t he always,” Tara dryly replied, bent over to pick something up, giving the fuzzy tailed Chp quite an eyeful of her ample cleavage.

“Um, Tara, may I ask you a question?” Chp asked hesitantly.

“Why sure!” she warmly smiled as she leaned over the counter and rested her chin on her hand.

“Why do human females feel the need to show off their cleavage?”

Tara stood up and blinked her eyes; the question hit her like a heavy turbo laser from the SSD Executor kissing the hull of the original USS Enterprise. “Um,” Tara uttered buying time as she glanced around the room, fortunately Blue was walking in. The Dark Jedi grabbed the blue haired Kunoichi and whispered in her ear; Lady Blue looked over at the cutest squirrel in the galaxy and nodded her sandalwood scented head.

They both walked over to Chp, Tara put her hand on Blue’s shoulder and addressed the Green Lantern, “Chp, Bluey will answer your question.”

Chp perked up and looked at Blue as the ninja leaned over and asked, “Remember when I was a squirrel?”

Chp nodded his little furry head, “Sure do, you were cute Blue!”

“Well, Chp, you know how, during breeding season, you guy squirrels like to show off who has the biggest nut? It’s um, kinda like that…” Blue finished as Tara shook her head in total agreement.

The Green Lantern squirrel thought about that for a moment and replied, “Would that explain why Ryan’s been hanging around Dana as of late?”

A stunned Blue blankly blinked her violet eyes as Tara’s cheeks turned beet red, the embarrassed Raven Wolf put her head down and scratched the back of it.

***

Meanwhile Steve Rogers, BKA Captain America stood before his bathroom mirror with just a towel wrapped around his waist; his masculine body was ripped with muscles to say the least. He put his razor down and dried his now smooth as a baby’s rear face; Steve picked up a bottle of after shave and splashed some on his hard hands. There would be a lot of Kunoichi’s swooning on this grand and glorious night.

He applied the skin soother to his clean face and picked up his deodorant; Steve would give Ryan a major run at his Kunoich monopoly tonight at the Ms. Kunoichi 2008 pageant. Captain America had been personally handpicked to be the official judge by Lady Blue’s PAM (Pirate Anger Management) Instructor: Captain Jack Sparrow. Steve sprayed some strong lady pleasing spray on his stronger chest. His phone started to ring; Cap set down the bottle down and answered his phone, “Steve Rogers.”
In the next breath he snapped to attention, “Yes, sir, Mr. President!”

***

Dana offered her soft hand; Ryan obliged and gently grabbed it with his eager furry paw. “Come,” she smiled, “I have something to show you.”

Eventually she led him to the edge of the Haunted Forest, the quizzical Wolf flashed her a strange look, “I thought we couldn’t enter.”

“Not as mere mortals,” Dana’s soft voice replied, “But we can in our current forms.”
His keen hearing could hear some loud obnoxious boisterous singing; his nostrils also picked up the aroma of rum. The atonal song sounded like off key pirates singing about drinking rum. “I hear singing,” he said as he looked into the dense forest.

“Vampire pirates,” Dana answered, “Every twenty years they attack the tavern. We have to stop them.”

“WE?” Ryan replied. The Wolf was confused to say the least, “Werewolves and Vampires are mortal enemies, why the sudden ceasefire?”

Dana, again, poured on the charm as she wrapped her soft left around him and rubbed her very inviting right hand over his strong chest, “You’re my favorite Wolf, Ryan. I’d hate for the pirates to kill you.” She stopped and purred as she looked up at him with sultry look on her face, “I won’t let them turn you into a rug. Besides, I don’t feel like rebuilding the Tavern for the third time in a month.”

She continued to pour on the charm as she tilted her head; the Kunoichi Vamp stood up on her tippy toes as her soft hand gripped his silky tail. Her gifted finger found a spot just before his tail and scratched as she purred, “Do it for me, please?”

Ryan literally melted in her soft arms; Dana hit the spot that drove all canines wild as she smugly smiled, “Well?”

“Don’t stop,” Ryan mumbled as he took a deep power breath through his powerful nostrils.

***

Chp was sipping on his double almond latte and nibbling on his chocolate peanut donut was Croc suddenly slammed the microphone down onto the stage and stormed off in a huff. The reptilian humanoid marched over to the bar and sat down next to the calm squirrel.

“Where the hell is Dana?!?!?” he demanded. He slammed his balled green reptilian fist hard on the counter as he continued his rage, “I told her I wouldn’t do it until I had that effin’ red shirt. No shirt, no deal! That’s what the higher power said!”

A stunned Tara put her head back and mouthed, “Higher power?” She then felt an icy presence that chilled her to the bone; the Dark Jedi looked up and saw a cloaked hooded figure standing way in the back. Tara could sense it smiling as it held up a red shirt; the menacing figure stowed the red shirt in its sleeve and quietly left the tavern.

Tara excused herself as Croc thundered again, “Just where the hell is Dana?!?”

“Dana,” the blue haired imp lowly replied and then snorted a hardy laugh.

“Blue, what’s so funny?” Chp asked nibbling away on the tasty donut.

“YEAH! The higher power demands to know!” Croc added as he again slammed his angry balled fist on the counter.

Tara made her way outside, a mysterious eerie fog had rolled in; she felt the presence but couldn’t see it. She heard a cold chilly feminine voice smile, “Tara le Fay, we meet at last,” as a patch of the eerie fog cleared. The mysterious figure step forward and removed its cloak, revealing a beautiful woman.

“Oh gods…,” Tara uttered as she realized who she was talking to.

The Temptress sported an amusing smile, “I’m here to make you and offer, Tara.”
Tara’s sarcastic side suddenly reared its ugly head; the Dark Jedi slightly pulled her upper torso back and slightly lowered her raven head as she placed her soft hand on her titillating cleavage, “Moi?”

As soon as she did it, she realized she shouldn’t have. The Raven Wolf felt an icy chill invade her dazzling body; her head flew back uncontrollably, her silky jet black hair momentarily danced in the breeze before it fell down and dangled lifelessly in the cool breeze.

She laughed a maniacal laugh as she put her head down and opened her eyes, “Yes,” the voice purred as she looked over the Charger girl’s sensuous body. She ran her soft hands up and down Tara’s luscious curves as she continued to purr, “Your body will do quite well for my bidding.” She reached up with the Wolf’s soft hands and exposed more of Tara’s 36C cleavage.

The Temptress ripped Tara’s short silky white skirt off, revealing her matching silky white briefs; she reached behind her and adjusted them to a half moon position. She flicked her hand and the red shirt jumped into it; Tara the Temptress licked her glossy ruby red lips, it was time to prowl.

She waltzed into the tavern, slowly the crowd grew to a near hush as they saw Tara swing her churning hips; male and female patrons choked on their drinks as she strutted by with that red shirt in her hand. She had been known in the past to cause intimidation whenever she liked, now she was exuding it.

She placed the red shirt in front of the snarling crocodile, evilly smiled as she ordered, “Now go!”

The smug Wolf Temptress looked over at a distracted Lady Blue and purred, “Hello, Bluey.”

Blue, now dressed as Smexy Officer Friendly, was too busy serving customers that she nonchalantly replied, “Hello, Tara.”

The Wolf smirked; she walked over to the conniving blue haired ninja and bent over, giving Blue’s customer quite an eyeful as she whispered in her ear, “I know what you did to Dana.”

A scared Blue suddenly shot up and looked at Tara as she thundered, “What?!?!?!”
Tara placed her soft hand on Blue’s check as she continued, “Very devious, I didn’t think you had it in you. I’m so proud of you!”

***

“Mwah-ha-ha-ha,” Xu lowly laughed as he pulled out his blender. His nose was pinched shut with a clothes pin as he poured six week fermented wolf urine into the kitchen gadget, next was a couple of four day old slimy smelly calamari tentacles, followed by rice pilaf, a few ounces of sandalwood, and lastly a drop of ninja brew. Xu put the top down and pressed, “Mix.”

***