May 2015 treat you better than 2014!
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Thursday, December 25, 2014
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Santa Under Attack!
If you are easily offended by politics do use both a favor and stop reading. Thank you. This is a political satire take on Christmas in 2009. My character Flynn Beck, Glenn Beck spoof, takes on the evil forces political forces threatening Christmas
Hello America, tonight I come to you with a story of Political Correctness run amok; one that no doubt comes deep within the black hearts of Jacob Marley and the Grinch. A story I can hardly believe myself, Santa Claus is under attack on all fronts. That’s right, Santa Claus is under attack. He’s being labeled a sexist racist bigot by union thugs, the government of Australia says he sets a bad example for our kids, he’s a drunk according to MADD, former Vice President Al Gore and PETA released a joint statement condemning Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick for polluting the planet, melting the North Pole ice sheet which results in killing polar bears and penguins; the insanity goes on and on. I don’t know even where to start with this asininity, but I’ll try!
Van Jones, leader of SEIU, as well as a long time friend of President Nobama released a statement stating that SEIU was going to file a suit in federal court against Santa on behalf of Union 999 in North Pole, Alaska. (A.D.D. Moment: North Pole, Alaska, what a coincidence!) The union, which consists entirely of gnomes, state that Santa Claus is a racist for he only hires elves.
The suit also accuses Santa of being a sexist; Father Christmas is alleged only to hire mostly male elves and those elves slave away in his toy factory. Santa does hire a few female elves. The attractive female elves do not work in the factory, according to the suit. They are dressed in skimpy deep cut miniskirt versions of Santa’s red suit; the hot babes serve the hot cocoa and sugar cookies to the hard working male elves at break time. (A.D.D. Moment: Maybe this explains why Lieutenant Ryan Wolf always volunteers to help escort Santa every year?) However, it is alleged that the unattractive female elves are dressed in traditional female elf attire and perform secretarial work, thus lowering the self esteem of unattractive females.
Former Vice President Al Gore stated that Union 999 would be very helpful to Santa. Gnomes live in the forest, they love nature; they would help Santa develop new green technology that would stop Santa’s toy factory from belching harmful pollution into the arctic atmosphere, thus increasing global warming and melting the arctic ice sheet.
Gore continued as he stated this would be the last year of Christmas as we know it. Due to Santa’s pollution, the arctic ice sheet will entirely melt this year! Polar Bears and penguins would be extinct in 2010 because of the melted ice sheets as well as killing seals, walruses, whales and other arctic marine life due to his sinful factory sinking into the depths of the Arctic Ocean. (A.D.D. Moment: All this coming from the man who invented the internet?) PETA added Santa would be guilty of murder.
Gore finished as he claimed he would fight Santa’s relocation to the South Pole. The Former Vice President and PETA would fight tooth and nail to stop the new factory from going up. They vowed Santa would be drowned in permits until new greener technologies could be implanted to stop Mr. C. from killing the innocent polar bears and caribou of Antarctica. (A.D.D. Moment: Al Gore won a Nobel Prize? How?) MADD joined the madness by adding that Santa is teaching our kids it’s okay to drive drunk; they stated that Santa has a nip here and there, a cold one here, followed by some spiked eggnog and Good Ol’ Jolly St. Nick is sloshed! He’s flying his sled drunker than Ted Kennedy driving over a bridge in Massachusetts in the middle of the night!
Lastly the government of Australia released a statement that Santa is a bad role model for our children. Why? His reindeer pollute the environment on his yearly flight of spreading Christmas cheer to all the good little boys and girls; they poop and urinate on houses as well as during the middle of flight. Plus Santa is too fat! That’s right, the jovial man is too fat; he’s teaching our kids that it’s okay to be fat. He makes fat look cool and fun! He eats nothing but donuts and cookies as well as drink eggnog all Christmas Eve. Australia stated that he should eat on celery stick and drink water throughout the night. (A.D.D. Moment: Donuts are much tastier than celery sticks. M&Ms on donuts make the perfect Christmas snack, but that’s just me.) If you think that the former penal colony was finished ripping Santa, it’s not! Santa must lose weight, but delivery the goodies in a different way. Santa needs to through the bag on his back and run; by a bicycle and peddle all over the world, which in turns leads up back to Global Warming! Reindeer flatulence!
And you really want health care from the government…really?
America, I bid you goodnight, enjoy this blessed holiday season with your family I’m going to have some eggnog and some delicious M&M donuts. Goodnight America, and God Bless.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Friday, December 19, 2014
New Spider-Woman?
No, no, just no. Please don't repeat DC and Harris comics gaffes when it comes to revamping their heroines.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Friday, December 12, 2014
Shhh
Mighty Melinda and I are working on a project. I hope to have it ready by New Year's. It takes place after Ryan's Mighty Christmas
Model: Brooke Weisbender
Saturday, December 6, 2014
Friday, December 5, 2014
Kate Upton
I was pondering on whether or not to add Kate Upton to my New Years story...I think I will.
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Saturday, November 22, 2014
Sunday, November 16, 2014
NaNoWriMo Update
This year, after some prodding from a good friend, I joined NaNoWriMo. I started late, but I'm making good, for me that is. I have written 8,000+ words. I finished a short story with Mighty Melinda as the main character, with an original character of mine, Ruby, making an appearance. I plan on using it as a launching point for a series. Star Spangled Girl made an appearance. Ultra Woman is tentatively scheduled for the second installment. If you want your character to meet a walking talking mystic pumpkin...lemme know. I'll put them in it.
Saturday, November 15, 2014
NaNoWriMo
This year I finally entered the NaNoWriMo challenge for 2014, I joined nearly two weeks late, but I finally joined! My stupid trigeminal nerve has been giving me fits, but that's not going to stop me. I finally have my 2013 Christmas story nearly finished. I'll edit it after Thanksgiving and have it ready for Christmas.
1126 Tomcat Way is up to 4,000 words and ten pages. I will continue to write a continuation after the events on what happens on Christmas and New Years. Mighty Melinda meets PK is at 557 words, I plan on writing bits and pieces of it. My plan is to slowly write this so I can get it right for Halloween 2015 and use the story as a launching point for other stories.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
I Hate it When...
My Halloween story once again hit a brick wall, so I gave up. Today I was hit with something and I know I will NOT be able to quickly write it out for this October. I will attempt to write bits and pieces of it and post it later. I imagined Mighty Melinda crossing paths with a mystic pumpkin and things end very well for one of the characters...but I won't say witch, er, which one.
AH-HA-HA-HA!
AH-HA-HA-HA!!
AH-HA-HA-HA!!!
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Friday, October 17, 2014
Sunday, October 12, 2014
WONDERful news!
DC has announced they will release a digital comic series based on Lynda Carter's '77 Wonder Woman!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
A computer died...
October means spooky ghastly things transpire and ghastly things happened. My computer with lots of stuff on it died...including tons of Amy photos. NOOOO!
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
October is here...Foolish Mortal
Halloween is in four weeks foolish mortals. Dark forces are plotting unspeakable horrors, you better be on your game or your heroine will meet a ghastly end...
AH-HA-HA-HA!
AH-HA-HA-HA!!
AH-HA-HA-HA!!!
Monday, September 29, 2014
Monday, September 22, 2014
The Pumpkinator
Beware foolish mortals, the Pumpkin King is back! He's upgraded and now calls himself the Pumpkinator. He's still rabidly insane on avenging the yearly slaughter of pumpkins. All redhead heroines need to take heed; he claims they lower his melting point. He'll stop at nothing to turn one into one of his mindless queens. So be on your guard when indulging in your favorite pumpkin goody or you might not see Thanksgiving...
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Friday, September 12, 2014
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
Tampa Bays Falls 20-14
Cori, Ingrid, and Stephanie A. weren't enough for the Bucs to overcome a 17 point deficit. (Photos from Jackson1245 flickr account)
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Not Giving Up
Today I embark on a year long battle to take back my life. I start an intense rehabilitation on my neck this afternoon at 4 PM. My prayer is that this time next year my neck will bow again, my jaw will be back in place, and the pressure against my TMJ joint will have been totally relieved; my trigeminal nerve will no longer be under stress and will stop misfiring and I will totally be pain free.
I will disappear from time to time, I won't post anything major here, but I will stop by and post stuff. If you want to see how I'm doing I have two links posted down below:
https://www.facebook.com/ryan.wolf.54772
http://thereluctanttnwarrior.blogspot.com/
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
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