Saturday, February 28, 2009

Ryan Wolf Reviews...



Wonder Woman and I watched Scooby Doo and the Goblin King a few nights ago after a long tedious day of fighting nefarious villains and sorts. We smiled as we plopped down on the comforting couch and readied ourselves for a momentary getaway; it didn’t take long for us to realize that the movie lacked the charm of the original series. It played out as a Crappy, er Scrappy Doo episode; no mystery to solve, just silliness and camp, much like the Crappy, er, Scrappy Doo era. However, on the plus side I can say that Daphne was never curvier.

The story took place on Halloween night and Scooby and Shaggy must’ve gotten a long hair up their butts; they were totally out of character in the opening scenes. The two chow hounds just had to expose a magician as a fake…DUH! The gang was kicked out of the Coolsville carnival and the story pretty much became a Scooby and Shaggy story; Freddy, Daphne, and Velma were hardly around, much like the Crappy, uh, Scrappy Doo era.

It almost seemed that Diana and I turned around at the same time and said flatly, “I’ve seen better,” as Scooby and Shaggy ventured into the Spirit world.

I did manage to guess that the black cat would turn out to be the smexy witch, BUT, I didn’t know that she would have BLUE hair!!! A sarcastic Wonder Woman pointed to the screen, “Look Ryan-kun, it’s Blue-chan!” I looked at her out of the corner of my eye as Wonder Woman continued her verbal attack, “Too bad your new Dell computer can’t take vidcaps of this. I’m sure you’d love to snap off a few of the blue haired witch.”

Lauren Bacall’s witch let Shaggy and Scooby use her broom, the fat witch gave them a potion to use for later which led to a really creepy scary scene towards the end; Scooby and Shaggy drank the potion the rotund witch gave them and they transformed into drag versions of Daphne and Velma. I thought I was going to toss my donuts. Wonder Woman was about to excuse herself and rush to the bathroom and vomit her dinner, it was that disgusting.

The evil fake magician was a full fledge evil wizard at the end; he turned the Mystery Machine into the Monster Machine and chased Freddy, Velma, and Daphne around the carnival. The van plowed into a booth full of Crappy, sorry, Scrappy Doo souvenirs; poetic justice for the mangy puppy that wrecked Scooby Doo.

The movie was ending and we both concurred that this movie belonged in the pile of other disastrous Scooby movies: Witch’s Ghost, Where’s My Mummy, Monster of Mexico, Pirates Ahoy, and all the Crappy, dang it, Scrappy episodes.

There was one thing I didn’t understand, I turned to Wonder Woman and asked, “How did something like that…come from that (if you seen the movie, you’d know what I’m talking about for those of you in Palm Beach). Diana grabbed my shirt and purred, “I’ll show you,” as she pulled me into her delicious intoxicating red lips.

It’s good to be the sidekick!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Ryan Wolf: PAM Instructor


Ryan Wolf is currently assisting Lady Blue's never ending quest to pass her PAM (Pirate Anger Management for those of you reading in Palm Beach, Florida) class. Blue-chan has made great strides and her insurance rates have plummeted, but, the fair buxom sandalwood blue haired ninja babe still has more to do.

Embolden by this, Ryan has taken on another student, the buxom raven haired Lady Black. Lady Black, after several stammering, stuttering, spittling minutes, successfully passed her very first test by saying, "Pirates are my friends." Of course, Ryan had to chain her down and ground the chains with a lightning rod so he would'nt be electrocuted in the process.

Lady Black's next assignment is to say, "Pirates are my friends," without summoning a near electrical storm.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

2009



I can totally relate to this photo of an F-18 Hornet; 2009 has not been kind. Despite my best efforts I cannot finish the deal when it comes to a story. I just can't come up with my usual witty endings.

I'll embark on a story I've had on the back burner since 2006. I'm going to write about my gall bladder experience, it's something I've wanted to do, but never got around to it. Hopefully I can finish the deal with this one and get back to South Beach and Inauguration Day.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Today's Exciting Entry!


I found one of my earliest comic attempts back from way back in 1994. The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers were big back then; I worked at a local Toys-R-Us in the Christmas season of 1993, that was fun. Anyhoo, I drew a spoof for my church's youth group. The kids loved it, but rereading it...I shivered. It was corny and cheesy...just like the TV show!

Frita (Rita) was the bad girl, even though I never really explained why she was! Red Wolf broke his hand while fighting her and it was up to five teenagers who found five mysterious rings that fell from the sky.

One by one they morphed into the Mighty Worphin' Power Rangers! Watermelon Ranger had the ability to shoot high velocity watermelon seeds. Teal and Vanilla Ranger babes had the gift of blab. The Purple Ranger was the fiercest of all and the Plaid Ranger saved the day. Hopefully when I finish South Beach and other projects I can get to this and rewrite it.

Above you can see just how impressed Wonder Woman was with the teenage group

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

South Beach-Part 1



Miami’s native son had returned to the land of hurricanes. I, little ol’ Lieutenant Ryan Wolf of the United States Naval Air Force, parked my rent-a-wreck and fed the legalized robbery meter; the hungry parking meter devoured quarters as fast as I could feed it, satisfied that it enough been fed enough I headed off for sandy beach.

I saw all sorts of sights as I strolled down Ocean Boulevard. A woman wearing a jet black attire blew by me on her roller blades; her short black skirt was too tight for her to maneuver and nearly plowed into a group of people.

A salt and pepper bearded man had a green macaw perched on his shoulder; he was feeding it peanuts as he took his lazy stroll down the side walk of the awakening street.

I stepped off the sidewalk and onto the sandy trail that led to the beach; once there I saw all sorts of sights that made the others pale in comparison, some I liked, and others I wished I hadn’t witnessed.

Like the 80 year old man strutting down the beach as proud as a peacock; the smug elderly man wore, well, that’s putting it loosely, a tiny piece of fabric in front of his privates; a dental floss bottom held it in place as he marched by grinning away as the world could see his pasty white butt. The older women shook their heads in shame as most of the younger ones snickered and giggled as he walked by. A couple of them fumbled for their cameras and snapped off a few pictures.

I watched him walk by; I was a nauseated Wolf, impervious to sea sickness, fought back the tremendous urge to want to toss my sinfully delicious donuts that I had just eaten. The urge got worse as I saw several topless middle aged women; the urge dissipated as I gazed over to a pair of young college girls. They cutely smiled at me and waved their fingers; one of the girls reached behind her and unhooked her bra, exposing her modest chest. I waved back and walked down the beach.

My problems were a distant memory as I walked down the beach; I was quite thankful that nobody knew who I was as well as not running into anybody I knew. A laughing gull flew over me; I watched it fly away in the warm tropical breeze.

Suddenly I heard a soft voice purr, “Hey flyboy!”

I stopped, turned around and removed my aviator sunglasses; the Wolf saw a lovely woman standing next to a coconut tree. She placed her index finger on her luscious ruby red lips and hiked her denim short shorts, giving him a breath taking view of her left cheek. “Hello Lieutenant Wolf.”

“Hello Lieutenant Pezzini,” I smiled as I walked over to her.

“Fancy meeting you here in Miami,” she stated unzipping her denim shorts.

She bent over pulling them down as I hungrily replied, “Miami’s my hometown, Sara.”

Sara handed me her shorts as she replied, “I didn’t know that,” and pulled her white tank top off, revealing a slinky silvery grey bikini bra. The off duty police officer bent over, giving me a breath taking view of her more than ample cleavage as she picked up a beach towel; she stood up, turned around and gave me another breath taking view, but this time it was her firm buttocks, she was wearing a thong. I nearly passed out as she bent over putting the towel in place.

She sat down upon the towel and I became the envy of every man on the South Beach as she reached behind her and unclipped her bra. She took a long sexy stretch and smiled, “Ryan, you can sit by me. I haven’t had the cooties in years,” as she reached inside her bad and pulled out a bottle of tanning oil.

I sported a mile wide smile, for a very naughty thought invaded my mind as I gazed upon her near naked goddess body as I sat next to her. “Mind if I oiled the hard to reach places?”

Sara immediately rolled over and pulled up her hair; she rested her head on her folded arms as I poured the oil on her back. “Mmm,” she purred, “Feels good.”

I started to rub the oil into her fair skin; I was startled to realize how tense her upper back was. “Sara, your back is like a 2 X 4,” I declared and did something I didn’t want to do. I straddled her waist and used my thumbs to soften her Kevlar back.

“Oh God, Ryan,” Sara moaned as I continued to work on her back. She closed her eyes and licked her lips and continued, “Don’t stop!”

“Been under a lot of stress…”

“That’s why I’m here, mmm, don’t stop,” Sara purred.

My hands worked out a few knots that were found, Sara momentarily tensed up, but relaxed after they were loosened. I placed my hands on her hips and slid down a tad; getting an eyeful of her ass. I closed my eyes and put my head up; I quickly said a prayer for I knew I wouldn’t make it at this rate.

I liberally poured oil over her derriere; I didn’t want it to get sunburn, would you?

Sara moaned and buried her head in her in folded arms as she lowly moaned, “Oh God, Ryan.”

I was beginning to wonder if Sara were trying to seduce me; it was almost as if she were rubbing her rear against my hand as I rubbed the dark oil into her soft bubbly skin. I asked a stupid question to try and get my mind off of massaging one of the most tantalizing butt cleavage I’ve seen in quite sometime, “Want to go out for dinner?”

“Ever been to Joe’s Stone Crabs?” Sara asked as picked her head up.

Now what kind of silly question was that to ask me? I lived in Miami all my life, except for the last nine of ten years I spent serving in the Navy; then I try to spend all the time I can on leave. I put my head down and embarrassedly replied, “No.”

Sara burst out in laughter and rolled over onto her side, which was quite-stimulating; she placed her soft hand on my red cheek and smiled, “Ah, my poor Ryan,” and in the next breath she said, “Take off your shirt.”

“Huh?”

“I said, take off your shirt and turn around,” she repeated as she rose to her knees.

“Sure,” I answered shrugging my shoulders and took off my Miami Dolphin shirt; as soon as I did it Sara was the envy of all the ladies on South Beach. Pez knelt behind me and used me as a human shield.

“Move up a little bit,” she politely asked as her hand rested on my shoulder.

I scooted a few inches up and felt Sara’s knees resting against the small of my back. “Perfect,” she purred.

I glanced behind me, “What are you doing?

“None of your business,” she curtly replied.

“You’re oiling your breasts, aren’t ya?”

Sara leaned over and rested her chin on my lap and fired a warning right across my bow, “Shut up or you won’t be getting inside my thong.

OKAY! I’m shutting up! Some people just can’t do it when they’re asked, not me! I shut up when people tell me to shut up, that’s right! Do you actually think I’d continue to babble away after being told that? No sir! I shut my big fat stinking mouth and didn’t say a single syllable until Sara instructed me to!

“What do you think?” she purred in my ear and wrapped her soft inviting arms around me; her soft warm oily happy hands explored my chest and abs as her well lubricated chest rested against my back.

In one complete motion I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and took the biggest breath I had ever taken as Sara performed her titillating maneuver. My heart was pounding as my head started to spin, “Sara!” I lowly moaned.

“Yes,” she giggled in my ear.

“Please stop before we embarrass the Navy and NYPD by being arrested.”

“I’ve been kicked off the force before,” Sara replied longing in my ear as her playful hands ran up and down my rib cage. She changed tones and giggled, “Okay, flyboy, you win.”

TBC...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Wonder Woman Pic of the Day!


I gotta applaud the villain here, even though he was caught, he has his eyes glued to Wonder Woman's gaudy helmet; mine would be elsewhere

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Wonder Woman Pic of the Day!


Skip, the Dip, is saved by Wonder Woman. I gotta hand it to Skip, my eyes would be elsewhere.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Wonder Woman Pic of the Day!


Wonder Woman is peeking around the corner, wonder what her wondrous eyes see?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The State of RP


A dear sweet friend of mine, Tania, asked if 360 (Yahoo!) was pretty much dead; I replied stating that I thought RP in general was pretty much dead and that I would address the issue once I could collect my thoughts on the subject. Well, I think I collected my thoughts so here I go.

I started to RP in March 2000, but I had writing my own stuff for about 8 years and saw it as another avenue to hone my writing skills. I joined the Yahoo! Star Trek vs Star Wars RPG club. I enjoyed it, it was a learning experience; my writing tools were sharpened for the next big thing: Galaxy Wars.

It was started by a member of the Star Trek vs Star Wars club; this group was a tad different. Instead of having the Federation fight alongside of the Rebellion, the Federation signed a peace treaty with the Galactic Empire in exchange for the Empire to exterminate the Borg; in return the Federation would help rid the Empire of the Rebellion.

I had a ball playing the villain; especially when I forced the Rebellion forces at Deep Space 9 to fire on my USS Valkyrie, Federation Sovereign Class Battle Cruiser. The Valkryie had her shields down; thus the Federation was forced to accept the treaty with the Empire.

I saw the highs and lows come and go, but it eventually died out when the Rebellion stopped posting; most of it thanks to our resident god modders. They just had to have the biggest and best of everything and poke their noses into other people’s matters or have their padawans outmaneuver/out think/out due Jedi Knights.

The group died like all do eventually and I went back to writing stories. I created a couple of Myspace accounts and met Starr Magulta; Red, the Naughty French Maid; Lady Blue and Dana Tan, Double Trouble (GRRRRRR!). These four wonderful friends (notice how they’re all sexy females?) slowly got me back into RPing; I made Ryan Wolf and the after burners were engaged!

I’ve seen the highs and lows here too; RPing with a Chp leaves me in stitches, he’s a truly gifted writer. I can’t say enough about Lady Blue and Dana Tan, wow, they have been truly blessed by the Creator; lastly what bout Captain America and Ryan Wolf caving into donut temptation?

The lows coming in 2008 and staying into early 2009; there was a disastrous RP in which several young RPers were so consumed on achieving the goal that they forgot all about other players and important NPCs that were outside Doom’s Castle, that’s all I’ll say because I don’t want to start a fight. Several friends went inactive for various reasons: Schools, jobs, career opportunities, etc. Sadly, it seems my best friends were dealt the worse blow. Deaths in families and severe illness struck. Dana Tan, Captain America, and their respective families are constantly in my prayers.

As for 360, I think it’s pretty much dead thanks to Yahoo!’s inability to fix or improve it. I will continue to update my page and send flattering comments to Ultra Woman, Star Spangled Girl and a few others as well as writing a new story for them.

RP will always be there, you just have to know where’s it’s at. You may stumble upon it on happen chance or you maybe asked to join. If so, enjoy it! Seize the day! You are not promised tomorrow.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Wonder Woman Pic of the Day!


This was taken during the new Navy recruitment poster shoot. It didn't make it, but I thought I'd show it anyway!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Wonder Woman Pic of the Day!


Using perfect form and grace, the lovely Wonder Woman bowls a perfect strike!