The following story is based on a real life incident.
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The second full week of being the certified pool operator for the indoor pool at Gotham NAS was going along swimmingly. Everything was fine save a couple of mild TN attacks induced by being around chlorine for too long, other than that, I was peachy. Peachy indeed and the weekend was just a few agonizing hours away.
I was performing my daily walk through when I saw a leak in the dumpster room. I quickly deduced that an AC drainage line had backed up. I sighed, I had the feeling of impending Gotham gloom that my Friday had transformed into a Murphy Friday. My feeling was confirmed after a phone call…all available navy plumbers were busy making repairs over at the admiral’s office.
“Shiskebob,” I muttered as I put the phone down; I could hear a crotchety Leonard ‘Bones’ McCoy grumbling, “Damn it Jim! I’m a doctor, not a plumber!” Mercifully all the tools I needed were there for the minor surgery on the PVC pipe. Minor, they always say minor until they start cutting. Anyhoo, I grabbed a hacksaw, climbed up an eight foot ladder, and cut the PVC pipe. It started to drip ice cold water, another feeling was confirmed, but it didn’t make me any happier. One more cut and I carefully removed the piece of PVC, algae infested water slowly trickled out.
My helper put a five gallon bucket down to collect the grody water. I grimaced, yuck. Double yuck, that was nasty stuff dribbling out of that cut plastic pipe. I moved the ladder a few inches more away from the dripping opening, I was not about to have any of that foul water come pouring out atop of me as I finished this simple operation.
My ever helpful helper handed me a hose. I took it and carefully shoved it up the pipe. It stopped seven feet away at the elbow, I gave it a hard push and it went a little further in. I wrapped a rag around the end of the pipe and hose. I was not about to take a free ice cold grody bath. “Ready!” I exclaimed and my helper turned on the water.
I kept my hand firmly in place as I felt the pressure build. I continued to let it build and released my hand. I was about to give the hose a firm yank to release it and let it fall out on its own as that nasty grody algae infested water rained down upon the dumpster room floor. There was one minuscule problem.
There was a kaboom, not an Earth shattering kaboom, but an algae shattering kaboom. I don’t know what happened, but I was covered in that disgusting filthy grody algae. It was in my hair, plastered to my face and arms. Thank the Good Lord was I wearing one of my old navy PT shirts; it was covered in green algae that looks very similar to green phlegm you hack up when you’re sick.
I very calmly climbed down the ladder and walked out with as much dignity as I could muster. I grabbed a couple of pool towels and walked out to my blue Chrysler Crossfire. I kept my cool, I didn’t drop any F-Bombs or other colorful metaphors, mom would’ve been proud. I covered my car’s seat with the two towels and drove home.
I hastily disrobed inside the safety of my humble abode. I placed my soiled clothes in a separate hamper. I would rinse them with a hose before I even dared putting those infected clothes in the washing machine. I made a mad dash to the bathroom for my poor arms were starting to itch; I took a nice hot refreshing disinfecting shower.
10-15 minutes later I was drying off when I heard a knock on the door. I rolled my eyes, it was probably Admiral Doolittle wondering how come I wasn’t taking care of his beloved indoor heated pool or why I quit my post without being properly ‘relieved’. The impatient knocking grew more annoyingly louder. “Coming!” I barked as I felt the loud banging reverberating in my left ear.
I gnarled and threw open the door and saw a stunned Pepper Potts was standing in front of me...I was still dripping wet with a towel wrapped around my loins. The feisty fiery redhead blushed for a moment and bit her bottom lip. “Pepper! What are you doing here?”
Pepper chewed on her bottom lip, “I’m ah-” she chewed and chewed some more on her bottom lip. “I stopped by to see if you have any plans tonight…lieutenant.” She looked me right in the eye as she continued to chew on her cherry red bottom lip.
“I do now!” I retorted and grabbed her by the arm. She playfully squealed as I pulled her in and closed the door. It’s good to be the CPO!
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