Part 1 can be found here: http://thewolfswoof.blogspot.com/2008/12/this-is-my-christmas-story-for-2008.html
Yes, 2008 was three years, better late than never? This would also be a good time to cue Sarajevo 24/7 by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
***
Lady Blue wildly swung her balled fist into the air as she continued to follow the crazy jerky moose. The angry kunoichi snarled, “I killed you before, I’ll kill you again!” as she raced into an opening. The skillful ninja lost track of the moose as the snow fell harder; Blue looked around and saw a snowman standing in the middle of nowhere.
She blinked her violet eyes as she saw the snowman smile at her; she shook her pretty little blue head that was quickly piling up with white puffs of gentle snow. He continued to smile as his stick arm motioned for her to come over.
Behind the snowman a stood an old fashion drive thru movie wall; it turned to black as Blue neared. An HD movie with state-of-the-art surround sound began to play; Blue saw a tiny sleigh with nine reindeer flying through the dark skies, a US Navy fighter was escorting the sleigh as The Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Sarajevo 24/7 began to ominously play.
Suddenly she heard Ryan’s desperate voice over a menacing tone, “Santa! Can you get Rudolph to turn off his nose?”
“Sorry lad, he can’t,” Santa replied just before Ryan’s HUD turned a deep crimson red.
“Missile warning, Missile warning,” a soft voice repeated over in his helmet as the words blinked on his HUD.
“Incoming!” Ryan thundered and pulled his F/A-37 Talon into a sharp turn away from Santa; his nimble fighter belched flares and a chaff cloud as it raced away from Saint Nick. The QSAM (Quick-maneuvering Surface-to-Air Missile) locked onto the US Navy fighter and streaked away from the Jolly Ol’ Elf and his reindeer.
“Doom must really be peeved at me,” Ryan thought as he experienced chest crushing G-forces. Wolf huffed and grunted as the deadly missile neared; his bird shrieked as she continued to turn tighter than her engineers designed her to. Cold air vortexes formed on her wings as she continued her conga dance with Doom’s bucket of coal.
The Talon came around in front of Santa and the boys; a pleasant ringing tone was intermingled with the “Missile Warning,” that echoed in his helmet. It was so intermingled that Ryan didn’t hear it at first, but when he heard it, it was sweet: His bird had locked onto the Latverian defense site.
A sleeping AGM-88 Harm missile dropped from his weapon’s carousel; it awoke and blazed a fiery smoky path down to the earth. It gave the Latverian defense installation the kiss of death, the installation disappeared into a fiery fireball that could be seen for hundreds of miles in the cold air.
“ALL CLEAR SANTA!” the jubilant US lieutenant shouted.
“Thank you Ryan,” a relieved Santa smiled, “By the way, you’ve never told me what you wanted for Christmas.”
“For Dana Tan to give me the time of day,” Ryan promptly replied.
Blue’s little heart broke as she watched; her best friend, Dana Tan, was notoriously bad on teasing her Ryan-kun. A little tear formed at the edge of her sad violet eye and slowly ran down her soft face. The tear turned into ice as it dropped from Blue’s angelic face.
“Ryan, that’s not up to me; it’s up to Dana,” Santa countered as the classified US air superiority fighter banked away.
Lady Blue sighed and was whacked with the head of the now decapitated snowman; the laughing moose put his massive back legs down and bounded away into the blinding snow storm. She envisioned bloody moose entrails littering the snow white landscape as she wiped the snowman’s head from her violet eyes; her anger melted the snow that lay on her silky sandalwood scented blue hair. Visions of moose jerky danced in her mind’s eye as fiery red stacks of smoke poured from her angry ears. She pulled out her trusty katana, again, from goodness knows where; she thundered her battle cry and lunged for the snickering Bull Moose.
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