The dazed not-so-rabid warrior lifted up her heavy head and saw Ryan wearing only a hot pink bathrobe wrapped around his waist. She blushed hard and looked down at the tile, “Oh Ryan-kun!” The blushing Japanese woman looked up and much to her shock saw best friend and fiercest competitor, Dana Tan standing at the other end only wearing Ryan’s US Navy issued PT shirt. The petite ninja was practically swimming in it.
“I’m glad to see you’re secured enough in your manhood to wear pink,” she smirked as she walked over to him. She wrapped her soft arms around him; the New Year’s fireworks started early as they passionately kissed. She placed her hands on his cheek and pulled away just long enough to purr, “Merry Christmas, babe.”
Lady Blue’s mouth ever so slowly fell to the floor as she witnessed the spectacle. This is what she had hoped, planned, schemed, conspired for; even this was too shocking for her to see. She thought the whole world was going to end in some sort of cosmic calamity as Dana deftly removed his towel.
The embarrassed Blue turned around only to hear the sound of Dana agonizing in pain. She quickly turned her head around and saw Ch’p, the cutest Green Lantern Squirrel in the Milky Way; Croc; Captain America; Lady White; and a host of other Club Seduction regulars standing in a waiting room. Killer Croc was busy passing out the cigars as Dana continued to scream out.
Poor Ch’p was confused, the Green Lantern Squirrel gazed upon the long stogey and queried, “What’s this for?”
“Its tradition!” a boisterous Croc proclaimed.
“But Dana’s having a girl,” Ch’p replied as he tilted his head at the long dried out tobacco leaf.
“Fine!” Croc snapped as he ripped the cigars from people’s hands, “I’ll smoke ‘em all myself!”
Dana was screaming bloody tan murder in the delivery room; the brave blue haired kunoichi timidly peered inside as the screams turned into shrieks of pain.
“You did this to me!” Dana thundered as she dug her nails into Ryan’s hands, “You just couldn’t keep it in your pants.” She stopped and gnashed her teeth together, nearly biting her tongue in two as another intense round of pain struck.
“Like it’s my fault that you oil wrestled your evil twin while wearing that skimpy hot pink thong of yours,” he calmly replied. Lady Blue had tricked Dana into entering the Transmorigifier she borrowed from Calvin and Hobbs in hopes of boosting the profit margin for Club Seduction. Bluey split Dana into two separate nearly identical beings; one being good, the other evil, very reminiscent of a Star Trek re-run, the Good Dana prevailed.
The evil Dana ran away and swore revenge; she was about to annihilate Atlanta with a Hydrogen bomb when Ch’p, the cutest dreamiest Green Lantern squirrel in the Milky Way and Tara le Fay, a Dark Jedi from the Star Wars Universe, saved the day. The duo combined their powers and merged the two kunoichis back together.
Another excruciating wave of pain shot through the sweating Dana; she grabbed Ryan by his shirt and pulled him down to her snarling face. Dana gnashed her teeth together and growled, “Babe, you said you couldn’t get me PREGNANT!"
Again Ryan coolly addressed his delusional wife, “White-sama said that Bluey accidentally gave me the antidote…”
Lady Blue puckered her lips, “Oops,” and blushed very hard; she looked about her and quietly stepped outside.
“ANTI-DO-!” the growling She-Wolf yelped in pain and gave birth to her first born pup. She took a couple of deep calming breaths and gently placed her tired hand on Ryan’s cheek. “I’m going to kill Bluey,” she calmly stated.
Lady Blue walked into an empty Blue’s Tavern, except for Ryan and Dana at the counter. The confused sandalwood blue haired angel gazed back at the door and then her two best friends; it was as if she had never left. She saw Ryan beginning to kneel...KNEEL! Ryan was going to propose to Dana right then and there. The kunoichi could barely contain herself, like, what else is new?
The ninja was so overcome with joy that she began to shake and shiver as she placed her ball fists up to her chin. It was finally going to pay off; all those long nights planning and scheming as well as running up Dana’s credit cards were finally going to show fruition!
A bouncing Blue rushed up to the counter; she bounced and bounced as she squealed like a young Japanese girl, “Dana and Ryan’s getting married! Ryan-kun and Dana-kins are going to get married and have a little girl! I’m going to be Auntie Bluey!” Ryan and Dana sat there in stunned silence as Blue continued to bounce around. The still bouncing kunoichi grabbed Dana’s hand and excitedly asked, “May I be the Girl of Honor? Huh? Huh? May I?
“Bluey,” Dana replied giving her a strange look.
“Oh, I can’t wait,” the happily bouncing blue haired buxom ninja smiled as she continued to jump and clap her hands.
“Blue-chan! We’re not getting married.” Ryan’s voice was drowned out by Blue’s happy clapping. He looked over at Dana and shook his head.
Dana put her hand on Blue’s wrist, “We’re not getting married…”
Again Blue was too busy dancing and clapping to hear Dana; seconds later Dana and Ryan joined forces, “Bluey!!!!!!!”
Meanwhile, outside in the blizzard that crazy jerky Bull Moose peered inside the window as the snow fell harder. He snickered as he turned around to face you; with a friendly blink he was off and running back into the snowy Haunted Woods.
The End.
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