Blue Friday

My 2007 Black Friday Story

***

It was the Friday after Thanksgiving, Black Friday; without any fanfare my F-37 landed at Cape Canaveral AFB at 0 Dark 30. Her every taxi move was mirrored by two AH-64 Apache Longbow helicopters as they flew escort. They thundered away as the doors of the secure hangar were shut tight; my bird stopped as Air Force airmen rushed up to my exhausted bird. They could clearly read on the fuselage the black words, "Blue-chan."

I crawled down my ladder and ran my fingers across the black letters; I smiled as I looked at the words. I turned around and walked out the building; once I was outside I was whisked away in an armored Hummer and taken to my classified meeting.

Moments later I was inside the colossal Vehicle Assembly Building (VAB) at the Kennedy Space Center, the majestic Space Shuttle Atlantis was there awaiting her next launch into cold space. I got goose bumps as I thought what might be in ten years: Staring at the Orion rocket, the one that would take America back to the moon, with me commanding the mission.

As I pondered the future I smelled a hint of sweet smell. I took a sniff, it smelled like sandalwood. SANDLEWOOD! My eyes opened wide with frightful delight. I mean, I love her to pieces; I named my F-37 after her, but she couldn't be here. This was a classified mission, if anyone saw her; I was in deep doo doo!

I turned around as the smell of sandalwood grew stronger, I flashed a nervous smile as I heard a whisper, "Psst, Ryan-kun!" At this moment I knew exactly what Larry Hagman's character, Major Nelson, on 'I Dream of Jeannie' felt whenever Jeannie popped out in the middle of nowhere. Where ever my precious Blue-chan went, hijinx would quickly ensue.

I saw Blue smiling and waving from behind a stack of boxes, she wore a white NASA hat over her silky blue hair. I looked around to see if anyone was there and ran over to the box. I gritted my teeth and lowly growled, "Blue-chan, what are you doing here?!?"

"I have to protect you, Ryan-kun," she replied utterly clueless of my anger.

"I'm on the most fortified base in America, I'm completely safe here!" I countered.

"Ryan-kun," she chided me as she shook her pretty little blue head. She placed her warm soft hand on my cheek, "You still don't understand, Kunoichi's can penetrate anything they so choose."

"I'm supposed to be alone, if they see you here. I may be court-martialed!"

She smiled continuing to ignore or not seeing my point, "I can be your navigator."

"The F/A-37 doesn't have a navigator!"

"Oh," she blankly replied and looked away. She looked back and me and smiled, "I'll be your crew chief!" She pointed to her hat, "See, I even have a hat!" Blue pulled it off and her silky sandalwood scented hair gracefully fell to her shoulders.

I closed my eyes as she uttered, "Whoops."

I opened them and sternly said, "No!"

Blue's pretty violet eyes became misty, she gave me her sad puppy dog look; she stuck out her bottom lip, it quivered. Oh, how I hate that look! It makes me do things I know I'm going to regret; at times I'd rather swim through a boiling acid sea, have lemon juice poured over a paper cut, or listen to an entire Yoko Ono album than give in. I took a deep breath, stood firm and proceeded to collapse like a house of cards, "Ok, crew chief."

Blue closed her eyes as she clapped her hands together and squealed like an anime/manga cartoon babe. She gave me a big hug and kissed me, "Thank you Ryan-kun!"

Suddenly we heard a, "Lieutenant Wolf!"

Blue scrambled to put her hair back in place under the hat as I walked towards the mighty Atlantis. I looked back and Blue was gone; I breathed a sigh of relief and prayed that she'll do what she does best: Stay in the shadows and out of sight.

A team of secret service elves walked into the room, they all sported dark sunglasses. Each wore a black suit, white shirt, with a black tie; one of them held his ear and said, "All clear."

Seconds later the jolly old fat white bearded man of Christmas Cheer walked into the room, my classified mission of national security was now complete. His robust voice boomed, "Ho! Ho! Ho! Ryan! How are you lad?"

"I'm good Santa, you?" I innocently replied.

Santa gave me an all knowing look; he shook his head in disapproval, "Ryan. I'm Santa, I know all about you being naughty."

Whoops would be an understatement. I felt like I was shrinking in my flight suit and concurred, "Um, yes, you do."

He looked at me with a stern face and then continued, "Especially with Lima Alpha Delta Yankee Bravo Lima Umbrella Echo," he finished and gave me a little wink.

I snickered for a moment and replied, "Santa, why did you spell her name phonetically?"

"Because she mistook Rudolph for an elk a few Christmas Eve's ago," a wincing Santa replied. "He still gets the shakes when he hears 'Blue Christmas'."

"That's my girl..."

Santa and I changed the discussion to my Christmas Eve escort, Rudolph brought out some milk and cookies as we continued to chat away. I would have to run a few extra laps to burn off all those extra delicious calories, but hey, it's Christmas!

Suddenly there arose such a clatter; Santa and I sprang from our seat to see what the matter was. Then what to our wondering eyes did appear, a tied up blue haired woman and eight tiny elves. The blue haired woman was wrapped like a Christmas present, she squirmed as she protested, "But I was searching his sleigh for a bomb, honest!"

And the unbelieving lead elf replied as he dismissed her confession with the wave of his hand, "We hear it all the time."

I buried my face in my palm of my hand as they unceremoniously flopped the reluctant Blue Christmas present in front of Santa. I knew my commission in the Navy was just about to expire.

Santa looked down at the violet misty eyed woman, then looked up at me and queried, "Ryan?"

"Uh, this is my navigator," I caught myself and said with urgency, "No! She's my crew chie..." I stopped and looked at Santa; the look on his face said everything. I knew he wasn't buying my fib, I threw my arms down as I huffed the truth, "Ah, you know who she is!"

"Yes, I do," he answered and pulled out a little scroll. The little scroll unrolled and kept unrolling as it ran out the door, which was some fifty feet away, as he continued, "She's been very naughty girl."

"You don't know the half of it," I mumbled before I realized who I was talking to, "Then again, you do,” I finished as I scratched the back of my head. Blue put her head down, her cheeks turned red as she looked up at me with her eyes.

"But she hasn't been near as naughty as Dana," Santa laughed. "Release the lass!" he ordered and Lady Blue was freed.

Blue could not contain herself in the presence of Santa; she was one of his biggest fans. Lady Blue tackle glomped him into next Christmas Eve before his secret service elves had time to react. She attempted to wrap her petite arms around the robust Christmas icon, but couldn't. "SANTA!" she thundered as she gave him a big hug.

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa thundered as Blue gave him a hug. He warmly returned the hug; Blue sat on his knee and folded her hands in her lap. I watched in wonder as she became a little girl again, she looked so innocent as she talked to him.

Santa smiled and asked what she wanted for Christmas; Blue cupped her mouth as Santa leaned down. She whispered something that made his cheeks flush with red; Santa's eyes widen with shock as he looked at me.

Santa looked at her and winked his reply, "Lass, that's Ryan's department."

Blue sweetly giggled and turned to look at me; my sexy ninja jumped into the air and landed in my arms, "Where's the mistletoe when you need it," I commented.

Blue giggled and then gave me a soft kiss. I returned the kiss and gazed into her eyes. It didn't last long as she hopped out of my strong arms and drug me away from Santa, "Come on Ryan-kun! The Merritt Island Mega Mall closes in fourteen hours! We have so much shopping to do in so little time!"

Santa grabbed his jelly belly and laughed, "HO! HO! HO! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOODNIGHT!"